VIDEO: Waj Ali - Thriving in 2024

First episode of Reflections & Hope

I wanted to give you a gift for the holidays – the reflection, joy, wisdom and hope of my closest friends.

For the first interview of my end-of-year series, Reflections and Hope, I sit down with my friend and fellow-Nerd Avenger Wajahat Ali to discuss the challenges we faced in 2023, but also the promise of better things in 2024. 👇

One of my favorite things about Waj is that he maintains his equilibrium, sense of wonder, and sense of humor – no matter the personal struggles he faces. We can all learn from him.

“Surviving is a victory.” – Wajahat Ali

As Waj says, combining positivity and activism can lead to a 2024 we can all take some joy in:

“In local races, people aren’t going back to 1953…. even red areas. That gives me hope. Don’t underestimate the power of saying ‘enough is enough’.” – Wajahat Ali

The Real Reason I’m Doing This

To be honest, I’m exhausted. But I’m dedicated to using my platform to offer hope – that we can all thrive in 2024, and can stop Donald and his cult from taking away everything we’ve fought for!

I currently have 137,584 free subscribers. If just 5% chipped in for a membership at the price of a venti coffee, I could reach even more voters with the truth… it would mean the world to me. 👇

Thank you for those who upgraded – you’re part of the family now!

Full video and transcript is below. I hope you enjoy it and I can’t tell you how much it means to me to have you as part of The Good in Us community.

Let’s dive in.

[TRANSCRIPT EDITED FOR CLARITY AND FLOW]

MARY

Waj Ali, my friend and fellow Nerd Avenger, it's great to see you. It's been a while. So, first of all, how are you?

WAJ

I am good. I think I got the mini version of the plague. I got three viruses back-to-back-to-back. So, as you know, I've been sick for like four and a half weeks, and today is probably the first day that I'm 95% back. And then everyone thought I was weak and broken. And then my wife, who is the one with the abs and used to work out, she got it also. And she goes, “This is like death. I won't make fun of you ever again.” And then a New York Times article came out that apparently this is happening to a lot of folks. It's called The Perpetual Sickness.

MARY

Yeah, because I think RSV is very severe this year. The flu's bad, so they're all adjacent illnesses.

WAJ

And also covid.

MARY

And yes, COVID is still a thing, people. I was recently at a Broadway show and at another event, and I was the only person in a room of hundreds and hundreds people wearing a mask. The only person.

WAJ

And you didn't get sick, right?

MARY

Not yet.

WAJ

Not yet. So yeah, folks who are listening try to get the flu shot and the covid shot at the same time. You can do it.

Other than that, I'm recovering. So that's the thing. I feel like that's a wonderful metaphor for the year. It's like you go through the plague but it didn't kill you and you're still alive and you look back and say, it could have been much worse.

MARY

It could have been. And you are celebrating your renewed health by doing what?

WAJ

I'm going to the beloved armpit of America—Florida

MARY

On a plane.

WAJ

On a plane with children because my in-laws are there and because my three kids are going to meet their cousins who are the same age. That means we will unfortunately go to one of these plague centers, AKA an amusement park, and I'll probably come back with my fourth virus.

MARY

Just in time for the most important election year of our lifetime. You'll be fully renewed.

WAJ

It is the Wajahat Ali experience—you get destroyed, but only 80% and then you come back. So that's been my life. You remember how in elementary school we used to go outside during recess and someone would say “Heads up?” and you're like, huh? And you try to avoid the ball. I was the guy who at the last second would say, huh? And the ball would fall on head. And that's my life. Growing up they used to call me Wolverine and Invincible.

MARY

So, you live by the motto, “What doesn't kill me makes me stronger.”

WAJ

That's a very American motto. I say Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger, but leaves scars.

MARY

Yeah, I think whatever doesn't kill you, devastates you and leaves you weak

WAJ

And leaves you broken. Hopefully that’s wrong. I think it's a good metaphor. I was thinking about this a lot. America has this mindset, the puritanical mindset, whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Just live with it, live through the pain.

MARY

Sleep is for the weak.

WAJ

Yes, sleep is for the weak. Why aren't you being productive? Here's the list. Have you created a new list? Here's a list for the lists. And I always feel like it's a recipe for success, but also disaster. And I think it's incomplete. And the reason for that is, yeah, whatever doesn't kill you might make you stronger, but can also leave wounds. It could also leave scars. It could also leave you weak. And if you don't tend to those wounds, you bleed over time you have pain. And if you're in pain and you don't tend to those mental, spiritual, physical wounds, not only does it hurt you, but your suffering ends up hurting your loved ones also like your spouses or your kids. And that's how I feel. If we were to evolve, Mary, and expand that definition, I think it would be much healthier. But in America it's like work harder, work better, work faster, work stronger. Whatever doesn't kill you makes you better. Oh, you're dead. Suffer quietly and suffer.

MARY

This all stems from the myth of American individualism, which has caused more harm than almost anything over the course of American history. But that's actually where we're going to pick up there in a little bit. I want to look ahead to next year, but before we do that, as you mentioned, it's been a difficult year personally. You're one of many people I know who struggled with some pretty debilitating illnesses plus, of course, the state of the world and America in particular. However, it hasn't all been grim. We haven't white knuckled our way through everything. I wanted t to help prop us up a little bit in time for what is going to be an intense year, to put it mildly. What were some highlights that we can take away from this year; some successes; some examples of our shared humanity that can make us feel a little bit better about where we are?

WAJ

On a deeply personal level, and then we could go macro. I was thinking about this last night because of all the avalanche of chaos and problems that are going to fall on our heads leading up to 2024, at the end of the day, you could feel overwhelmed and you could say, who am I? I'm nobody. There are 8 billion people. I'm one individual. And people can tap out and they can feel cynical. The opposite of hope is apathy. And apathy then can lead to nihilism. And it could lead to selfishness because then you could say, well, I'm going to take care of me and myself and my own, and that's that. Or what's the point? And I was thinking about this and I'm like, I'm alive. My wife is alive. I'm in a happy marriage. My kids are happy, my daughter is alive. And I just thought about that and that gave me just enough hope.

We're happy. We just played. They giggled, they laughed. And most people don't have that. That's number one. A roof over your head--if you have that, be grateful. The fact that I ate a meal and people might say, Waj, you're going to the bare basics, but sometimes that's what's necessary to just keep you tethered. It could be so much worse. And you and I have been very lucky. We've been able to travel around America and the world. For most people, for those who are listening, who haven't been able to travel around the world and really seen poverty, survival is victory. Literally, just surviving the day is a victory. So, I thought about that. That's a blessing that you should hold onto. And for some people, it's not a wife or kids or family, it's like something, it's like your church, you gardening, being able to pay the bill, just something that gives you joy. Cooking a meal.

MARY

The love of something.

WAJ

Yeah, the love. We've talked about that before. Anything that gives you joy that you're able to do at a regular clip is something that I think you should hold onto. So that's a deeply personal thing for anyone who right now who's feeling down. On a macro level, what we have seen is, yes, there are these forces of right-wing authoritarianism that you and I have warned about and they're growing. But we're also seeing a multiracial coalition of people rise up and be informed specifically around reproductive rights and women's rights in these states. And this is what gives me hope for the future politically in these states, in these red states, which go Trump. A lot of conservative Christians, these folks who were going to shut down reproductive rights—what happened, Mary? You saw this groundswell of folks overwhelmingly come out and say, “Nope, we're not going back.”

And that's what kind of gives me hope moving forward—that in these local races, the polls aren't picking this up. You're seeing people say, “We're not going back to 1953.” And the last thing I'll say is even when it comes to the attacks on DEI [Diversity, equity, and inclusion], which is now the new CRT, that's going to be the trend for 2024 folks. Look what's happening at colleges in these local red places where parents said, “Enough is enough.” They stood up at the school boards, won the elections, and said enough to book bands. Those two examples, give me some hope that we shouldn’t underestimate the power of local community organizing. Don't underestimate the power of folks who say enough is enough and don't underestimate the power of your fellow Americans, even in these reddish places, who see the threat. And hopefully there's a year to mobilize them.

MARY

Yeah, well, it's funny. Eleven months is a very long time and it's also nothing. So, we have to adjust our expectations accordingly. However, I do think that that sets us up, especially the two major topics you just covered for making a lot of headway over the course of the next 10, 11 months, to help people connect in really deep ways, because we on the left aren't as good at messaging as the right is. And part of that is because there are certain tools we're not willing to use, like lying and terrorizing people,

WAJ

Bribing Supreme court justices,

MARY

Bribing Supreme court justices and threatening our enemies. It's just not in our DNA. But we do have to get a little tougher though. I think

WAJ

We’ve got to get more droogie.

MARY

A little bit, just a little more. For those of you who aren't aware, that's a reference to A Clockwork Orange. Read the book.

Anyway, I was actually thinking about this the other day. The Nerd Avengers will be reconvening in the New Year because honestly, not just for the people who get a lot out of our conversations, which they do, but also because we get a lot out of our conversations. I think we need to tether ourselves to as many positive things as possible.

Part of why I wanted to talk to you and the rest of the nerds is because I think the way you guys individually and collectively look at the landscape really helps other people make sense of it. But you're all really good in your unique ways of finding the hope, even if sometimes it cuts against our inclinations or if it cuts against what appears to be the reality on the ground. But you actually are extremely adept at looking at things in a way that helps me shift my perspective when I'm feeling negative or even pessimistic, which again, as you know, is not like me. I, at least until fairly recently, was an absolutely inherently optimistic person. There was nothing fake about my optimism, but it's been challenged. So, knowing what you know about what lies ahead, what are you most looking forward to in the New Year? That might seem like a weird way of putting it, but I am doing that purposefully.

WAJ

It's giving it the Star Wars analogy. People always assume that it’s either A New Hope or Empire Strikes Back, and it's always been back and forth, but I feel like it's one of those situations where if you can redeem Return of the Jedi, maybe we can do the remake of Return of the Jedi and make it well. And I feel like that's one of those situations where when good people stay quiet, when good people do nothing, that's when these forces who have always been around. And I think that's what, with age and time and experience, I think that's what folks need to remember. These forces have always been around. What we are witnessing is nothing new. Our parents, our grandparents had also faced these challenges and these individuals in these communities. The reason why it seems so much more feral and so much more visceral is because these forces realize they've heard the death rattle of white supremacy, which has turned into a death march.

And they're playing for all the marbles, right? It's like an animal that is most lethal and vicious towards the end, barely hanging on for survival. So, what we're witnessing in our lifetime with all these challenges, I think with climate change is that the ground is shifting. The institutions that we thought we could just simply rely on are proven to be corrupt. The forces that we outsourced our trust to seem not to be holding up. So, for us there is this opportunity--this is the way I look at it: Here's an opportunity where we can correct the system. We can reform the institutions; we can jettison the old ways of thinking that were toxic and destructive. But we have to wait for it, fight for it. We have to fight for it. And this is where I hope, and this is what gives me hope, and this is also a warning, this is also a recommendation. Danielle and I talked about in our podcast, looking forward, the recommendation is that we have to be nimble and flexible.

And if you're not willing to be nimble and flexible, you might not equip yourself with the tools, the psychological, mental, spiritual tools necessary not just to survive in the next five to ten years but also to thrive. And when it comes to challenges, as you have been through challenges, and I have been through challenges, you realize sometimes with those challenges, you have to adapt and you have to flex and you have to change. But with that pain comes growth. And that's what I'm looking forward to. There's going to be pain, there's going to be discomfort. The institutions that you and I grew up with, Mary, I think it's going to be a brave new world and in five, ten, 15 years, and that other side wants that brave new world to be authoritarian. But we have the numbers.

MARY

That's right. And yes, exactly, not an Aldous Huxley Brave New World, but a brave new world that I think a lot of us haven't spent enough time envisioning, haven't spent enough time figuring out how to build. And it sometimes requires a shock to the system or a close call, which we've been dealing with for a few years now; to inject that kind of enthusiasm and energy into the project of building that world.

WAJ

You said near death experience and in bringing back things full circle, I wrote about this, I tell people, I always recommend having a near-death experience before death because it truly does shock the system. It clarifies immediately what's important and what's not. And then it forces you to make some changes that you otherwise were unwilling to make. And I remember bringing things back full circle. It was my near-death experience 11 years ago. And then woke me up and said, you know what? This thing called life. Do I want to continue living it all by myself or do I want to expose myself to the potential pain and heartbreak and disappointment of maybe opening myself up to someone? And a month and a half later, I got married, which was the best decision of my life. I'm just giving an example. So, we need that shock to our system. So many of us have been lulled into complacency that the Avengers are coming to help us and they ain't. We're the Avengers, right?

MARY

Just like we have to stop relying on the corporate media to help us. We need to be the mainstream media, which all of us individually and collectively are at this point. It's changing the game, it's changing the landscape, it's changing the way things are done and helping people become more comfortable with those changes. But I think the word discomfort is an important one because, first of all, I think experiencing the kind of thing individually that we're experiencing collectively is much more clarifying because the near-death experience of democracy doesn't resonate in the same way with people. Not everyone can afford to be totally connected all the time to these issues. They've got their lives to lead, they've got children to raise jobs, et cetera. But for those of us who have the luxury, if I can use that word, of being in the fight at the level we are, it's challenging ourselves. And anybody watching this should be challenging themselves in ways that work for them to do things differently. And for me, I will confess that that is creating alliances with people whom I would never have imagined aligning myself with pre-2016.

WAJ

I'm in the same boat. Danielle and I were talking about this, and that's the recommendation I also gave a folks: In order to create this multiracial coalition that has to protect democracy, and that sounds like hyperbolic terms, but look at what's happening folks and connecting the dots of being nimble. That nimbleness and that flexibility means stretching yourself to accommodate these types of alliances that you otherwise would not be even able to fathom, Mary. But then perfect is the enemy of democracy. That's what I tell people right now. And we're looking at the polls, we're looking at the polls. I'm like, you cannot be that puritanical about certain things. You have to give a little bit. And if you have an ally willing to at least fight against Trump, the bad Trump, you're the good one, Donald.

I'll give you a quick example, right? Third party, RFK, Cornell West, Jill Stein, No Labels, Joe Manchin. It's a very deliberate attempt to fracture an imperfect system, an imperfect model, an imperfect vehicle. But that's what we have right now. And then it's up to us to repair that vehicle, to keep pushing. But we have 11 months left. And the force that we're up against, literally, and I'm using the word literally as is meant to be used, is quoting Hitler “poisoning the blood.” That's what we're up against folks.

All of that's hopeful, but there's a darkness there that I think we need to recognize. But let's end on a slightly lighter note. What are you going to do, just as an individual, as a dad, as a husband, as a Nerd, of course, to keep yourself going or even, when necessary, to escape because we can't stay plugged in all the time. And I think we've all learned that in the last couple of years.

WAJ

I'm not staying plugged in all the time. And I find that when I plug out, I'm just happier. I know you are. You have to conserve for the marathon. What I've been trying to do, especially first of all, heal myself. That's important because of this frigging four-week virus. And I finally feel like I'm back, keep myself informed as much as possible, go to the gym, run, do middle-aged men jumping jacks. Your body has rights over you, so you have to take care of your body. Sleep, rest. I know this sounds very silly, but if you know anything about my life, I spend time with my kids because my kids are a certain age. And I realized there are very few moments where you can take all three kids to Target and they'll be holding your hand. These are the simple things that just happened last week.

My son in two years will probably never want to hang out with me or my two daughters. So, these are the small things I really am trying to lean into. And then also, like you, I have to write a book. I want to write that book. It'll keep me engaged. I think the last thing here for at least trying to do something is to restart or kick up again, a coalition. And I think we start off with the nerd Avengers, align ourselves with the people that we know to. Let's get back into it. We've got 11 months. And while we get into the fight, the few things that I'm doing, and I'll mention this just on I guess a fun hopeful note. I started playing video games for the first time in a couple of months. It is just fun. After the kids sleep, I spend 30 minutes, an hour. There's a Robocop game that came out and it's based off of the old movie, and it has Peter Weller's voice.

And it's one of those things where, as an older man playing this Robocop game that's faithful and it has the original voice actors, it just made me happy. I'm playing this Robocop game when the kids are asleep.

MARY

This is a story for another time, and I don't want to say I was addicted to video games as a kid because that's taking it a little bit too far especially since you could only play them at a candy store. You could not have Missile Command or Ms. Pacman, in your house. You had to go to the candy store and you had to have quarters. I'm dating myself, but that's okay.

WAJ

The late eighties folks. The late eighties,

MARY

A little earlier than that. But yeah, early eighties for me. But I loved it and it was a challenge. And my friends and I played so much, we could play for an hour on one quarter because we cracked the codes of all the games. And I've often thought of getting a PlayStation or an Xbox, but I'm a little worried that I would just get a little too drawn in.

WAJ

“Mary, what are you doing?” “I'm gaming.”

MARY

It's four the morning.

WAJ

That's how you make your money. You're like, “I've switched over to Twitch.” That's right. Mary, the gamer and you become a millionaire overnight. That's what would happen.

MARY

I never understood people who think that some things are just too childish and aren't worth doing as adults. One of the best things that ever happened to me was when I was in my early forties, I learned that adults could just play sports for fun. I thought that was only something you could do if you were on a team in college. And then after that, you just go to the gym. But there are leagues, tennis leagues for adults, there football or soccer leagues for adults. I didn't know that. And there's nothing wrong with it because we all really need that especially in these times. On the right, they get energized by all of the horrible things that are said and done for their benefit, while we get demoralized and enervated. So, we need another outlet. We need something that's going to inject us with the kind of spirit and energy we're going to need.

And as for a coalition, I'm totally with you. We need to do live events. I'm thinking of maybe having the Nerds and my PAC, the Democracy Defense Fund, put on live events and getting artists and musicians involved and just making the most of it. Because one, everything's at stake here. This is not about the horse race. And two, it is another way to stay connected and evolved and to feel like we're building something.

One more quick question, because I forgot to, I haven't asked you in a while. How's the guitar going?

WAJ

The guitar is here.

MARY

Fancy.

WAJ

Yeah, it's a nice,

MARY

I thought you had an acoustic.

WAJ

No, I have a Fender Telecaster. It's going OKAY. I’ve got to do better. I'm still trying to learn my Spanish, but I'm learning. And I want to say one point to what you were saying. I have a friend who's a brilliant psychiatrist and psychologist, and I was asking him, “What's the major ailment of people? And he said, the thread that he sees is that people are desperately are seeking connection. People feel a lack of connection. They feel a lack of connection to people, to community, to purpose. And they're searching for it. And he says, even if people leave the church or the mosque or the temple, they're still searching. And this need for connection is, he says in his field, the common thread that he sees. Doesn't matter if it's a teenager, doesn't matter if it's an upper-class, successful corporate attorney. He says it's always the same. It's lack of connection. There's desire for connections. It's need for connection. And, so, moving forward, I think looking at intentionality in 2024, and for people who are seeking purpose and happiness and joy, I think that's so important is to create some community and find a community and connect to something and someone, not just something, but someone who gives you some joy and hope. And that will be the fuel that your spirit needs to sustain the horrors and challenges that our generation will face and, inshallah, hopefully overcome.

MARY

I cannot think of a better note to end on. Waj. That was beautifully put and it really resonates. So, thank you for that. Thank you for everything you do. You have so much on your plate, and yet you always bring clear-sighted optimism and hope and perspective. I know how many people love listening to you and reading your stuff and watching your podcasts and your podcast with Danielle. And they also love it when you're on the Nerd Avengers, which again, we're going to be bringing back in January, hopefully. I just want to tease one last thing because I think it's important. Next time we talk though, you will be playing something on the guitar. I didn't ask ahead of time, so I'm not going to put you on the spot. But next time that's on the agenda,

WAJ

I will prepare the most pathetic melody and try my best.

MARY

“Eleanor Rigby,” DAG

WAJ

Or also White Stripes, the easiest one “Five Nation Army,” you could do literally on one string. You have been tempting me and teasing me and inviting me to this thing called Substack and I'm very tempted. The corporate media will keep fumbling the ball for a variety of reasons that we have discussed so maybe we create our community on Substack. I'm going to think about it.

MARY

I love it. Well, I'm glad you're feeling better. Please do not pick up another plague in Florida of all places. My goodness. And have a wonderful trip. And if I don't speak to you beforehand, have an amazing New Year, and we will talk soon.

WAJ

Happy holidays to everyone. Enjoy yourself, enjoy your families and your loved ones. Be safe, be happy.

MARY

Thanks, Waj.

WAJ

Thank you.