I’ve subscribed to quite a few newsletters over the last few months. E. Jean Carroll’s “Ask E. Jean,” Eric Boehlert’s “Press Run,” and Heather Cox Richardson’s “Letters from an American,” among others, have become essential reading. But I didn’t realize they were newsletters hosted by Substack until fairly recently. I didn’t really even know what Substack was. When I learned how the whole thing works, I wanted to start right away. And I pretty much did.
The benefits of writing on Substack are enormous: you literally sign up and start a newsletter within five minutes, have complete editorial control over—and own—all of your content, and you can engage with the community almost immediately.
The thing that most attracted me—community—is the thing that’s taken me some time to focus on. I have been reading all of your comments and emails, though, and today I’m going to start responding to them. So, somewhat delayed, here is the debut of The Relay, a weekly conversation that gives us a chance to do what can’t be done anywhere else—create a vibrant, active, and challenging place for those of us who together are in the fight for the future of American democracy.
We will be like this recalcitrant seagull:
On July 8, 2020 as I was just on the cusp of this particular journey and a week before my first book was even published, I got a DM from Greenpeace, an environmental organization I followed on Twitter. At the time I had 90 Twitter followers and didn’t even know what DMs were. This was literally the first DM I ever received. It read:
Hi Mary, first of all, huge congratulations on your new book. . . . I’m writing on behalf of Jane Fonda and Fire Drill Fridays. @FireDrillFriday is a collaborative project between Greenpeace USA and Jane Fonda. . . . Is it possible you would be available Friday July 24th? . . . If you’re interested, could you please share an email address for more direct contact? Thank you so much, looking forward to hearing from you!
“Is it possible?” Would I be interested in speaking with Jane Fonda? I’ll spare you a detailed description of my reaction to this message but suffice it to say I was—pleased—and totally mystified.
My conversation with Jane, which happened in the middle of August 2020 and, unfortunately, was held over Zoom, remains one of the best I’ve had with anybody in the last year and a half. Jane Fonda is everything you would expect but are still surprised to find—warm, generous, kind, humble, smart, and deeply engaged. At 82 years old she could sit back and put her feet up. Instead she continues to act (If you haven’t checked out “Grace and Frankie” on Netflix you are in for a treat) and she moved to DC in 2019 to organize rallies that raise awareness about climate change and put pressure on legislators to act. She was also arrested at least five times from October 2019 to January 2020.
This is a thing that actually happened.
At one point in our talk Jane asked me how important self-care was during the Trump administration and how it could help us stay in the fight after sustaining so many devastating blows. Here’s a brief part of the conversation:
MLT: I’m going to be totally hypocritical now because I have not been doing a good job [with self-care] but it is so important—it is the most important thing and so is community,” I replied.
JF: Community!
MLT: Yeah because, especially during the health crisis and with the economy affecting people in very different ways, it’s very easy to feel isolated. I’ve been feeling isolated since Nov 9, 2016. So it’s extraordinarily difficult under those circumstances to keep fighting for yourself and your wellness. If we remember to stay connected to each other, and we help each other be better in terms of sleeping and exercising and eating properly . . . We have to treat this as a marathon not a sprint and really take care of ourselves and each other.
JF: Maybe it’s a relay.
MLT: That’s actually an even better way of putting it because that then allows us permission to say, “You know what, I need to tap out for a little bit, and sleep for a week” or whatever the case may be because it’s exhausting.*
Thus The Relay was born, even though I didn’t know it at the time.
PS At the very end of our conversation, Jane Fonda said to me “I hope that when this is all over I can give you a hug. I just want to hold you in my arms.” I’m still trying to figure out if she can adopt me.
Starting next week I will begin The Relay with a summary of what we’ve been talking about in the comments. After that I’ll either post a survey or ask for your take on a specific issue, like gun control or a woman’s right to choose. Sometimes, like today, I’ll ask a more open-ended question.
[A quick reminder before we start: There is a lot at stake right now and we need to pull together. Constructive criticism, if invited, is fine, as is respectful disagreement. The most important thing to remember is we are on the same side and need to have each others’ backs.]
Credit: Blake Little
For about a month, up until a couple of weeks ago, I wasn’t as plugged into the news as I normally am. When I started paying close attention again it felt like the fire hose of news we’d been experiencing for the last five years had been turned up to 11 (or however you want to mix your metaphors). Every week there seems not only to be more news but worse news. Is it just me or are you having the same experience? Are you able to unplug or is there something else you do to cope?
Thank you again for linking to my own Substack in the very first edition of yours - that was such a lovely thing, and I'm enduringly grateful...
Regarding unplugging: yeah, this is so, so important. The firehose is real and painful and deadening...
But maybe it can be about rewiring, rather than just yanking the thing out the wall and silencing all the voices including the good ones. Maybe our frazzled, scorched attention spans can be refocused, so we're learning to be as fully engaged with the world and with our communities while taking an active role in filtering what comes our way. Maybe it's possibly to be in the thick of it and remain hopeful, enthusiastic and strong, so we're showing up to fight the battles we believe in with our very best versions of ourselves...
I don't write about politics. And I'm British, so the politics that directly affect me are a bit dustier, smelling a bit more of mothballs and bad aftershave, a bit more prone to having a cup of tea and a biscuit and a nap in the middle of the afternoon, and a little more deluded by faded imperial "glory".
But what I've been doing to cope with the shocking stuff in British politics over the last half-decade, and indeed everywhere, and all the issues that have become political for the most baffling reasons...is to take increasingly deep dives into what I don't yet know I don't know. The science of it, in particular. The human skills of attention, curiosity, wonder and awe that can make us feel more alive when they're working at full capacity. And I've been looking for ways to entice and prod my readers into testing their own limits in all of these things - mainly because it creates hope. Anhedonia, a common aspect of depression, is deeply tied up with hopelessness. Curiosity goes the other direction. And it's not about tuning out - it's about tuning *in*. It's about seeing how amazing so much of our world is, and how much joy we can feel by leaning into it in new ways...
So I think, if I can find a way to write about it in just the right way (it's early days), I can use this topic to instil hope - and help a few change makers here and there to find the energy to show up and do their thing.
First of all, everybody needs to subscribe to your Substack newsletter, "Everything Is Amazing." We need to be reminded now, more than ever, how much there is in the universe to be in awe of.
I agree that the situation in the UK, as opposed to the States, is different--mostly of degree but also, given the history also of kind (though the parallels between the two countries in terms of political choices and "leadership" styles over the last five years have been uncanny and worrisome).
I share your consternation that issues that should be apolitical--climate change, marriage equality, the environment, women's bodily autonomy (the list goes on)--have changed the ways in which people perceive the role of government in a way that is detrimental.
It's a great observation that curiosity is the antithesis of--and perhaps antidote to?--anhedonia and, I'd add, learned helplessness. Focusing on knowledge and learning and the joys those things can bring is the way to go. Hard, of course, when so many of us are feeling paralyzed, demoralized, and helpless but it's absolutely what we should be leaning into.
Keep up the amazing work. You are a phenomenal writer.
You do know that British people can't take a compliment and when they try they go *completely* to pieces?
Thank you. Those are ridiculously kind words. When I eventually find a way to get up off the floor, I will cherish them.
(And hard yes to your consternation about the politicising of so much that's basic to society and the human condition and should be a source of unity and action, not division and inaction and pointless wrangling. That continues to alarm the hell out of me.)
I’m 70 years old and a lifelong liberal/progressive Democrat. So is most of my family and friends. We’re all vacced and boostered, except for a 3 year old granddaughter. I flew to Washington in January, 2017, and took part in the Women March, along with 400,000 others. Okay. Now I’m so scared about what’s going on with the Republicans on every level and what they’re doing to subvert democracy. And what are our Democratic leaders doing? Not much, as far as I can see…
I marched 50 years ago for Civil Rights, against the Vietnam War, and, of course, for women’s right for abortion. Am I going to be in the streets again? Damn straight, but where are the organizers? I’d love to see some leaders in MY party acknowledge the pressing problems and get out there and lead. I’d like to see Democratic candidates run campaigns that are tough and mean. Yes, “mean”. I’m not the only one to be fearful and searching. Any suggestions?
I am 78 yrs old and a native San Francsican, and I was marching somewhere out there w/you back then. That is another hard truth, we keep fighting the same fights over and over again. I once read the definition fo insanity was doing the same thing over and over again while epecting a different result.
Welcome to “insanity”, Marilyn. We seem to regard - wrongly, evidently. - that the right to choose was “settled law”. The Texas insanity means we’re taking to the streets, yer again. I hope I see you!
It is such a very hard time. I am obsessing about the Jan 6 commission, alternating between celebrating their progress and bemoaning the slow pace. The midterms will be upon us so soon, and I fear Republican takeover of the House will kill the work. I am also deeply disturbed by the proliferation of guns, shootings, and a lack of any will to pass gun legislation. Voting rights are imperiled in many states, especially mine (Texas), and redistricting is a nightmare.
On a brighter note, I love being part of your this community, and I love your books and podcasts. Keep up the good work!!
Thank you, Debbie! I also vacillate between hope and despair when it comes to the January 6 Committee. I don't understand why there isn't a way to fast-track investigations into serious wrong-doing by our own government officials--it's infuriating). I'm much less hopeful about Garland and the DoJ but I haven't given up yet. We shall see. It is all a lot, isn't it? But I'm glad you're here.
Listening to news of how the Far Right is destroying our democracy, and being a blue flower in a red ant-hill state can be depressing for sure. Painting and knitting, as well as listening to excellent podcasts such as yours help keep my head above water. Thanks Mary.
I had a version of this living on Long Island but, honestly, even there political differences didn't really matter until 5 years ago--plus I was a quick train ride away from the City whenever I needed diversity and sanity. I honestly don't know how Blue dots in Red seas manage but painting and knitting sound like amazing and productive escapes. Hang in there. We're going to make it through. And thank you for the kind words about my podcast.
After 75 years of being an introvert, the pandemic isn't as painful for me as some others. However, having lost family and friends to COVID on top of being surrounded by republicans ( I refuse to capitalize them) and losing some I thought were friends has been gut wrenching. Knitting is as effective as meditation according to the experts,and painting takes me to a good place. My best to you in your efforts.
As a tiny blue dot in a hateful, Q-heavy red town in a crimson red state (IN) I turn to gardening, feeding the birds & squirrels, enjoying my cats company & affection, reading about many subjects to keep learning, trimming my news consumption down to only trusted news sites & blogs such as this one, walking outdoors away from people every day that I am able (military disabilities) and watching specific science fiction shows/movies that can serve both as a temporary escape and that give me moments of hope when thinking of the future. I have found that the communities I have joined here, with Steady, Letters From an American and a few others have been incredibly helpful in maintaining a positive outlook and a sense of belonging during our years-long pandemic.
Hi, Jeanne. Thanks but the whole point of this was to join the conversation. I'm just sorry it took so long. But there's a lot going on. Everybody's comments have buoyed me!
Don’t be sorry Mary. It took however long it took. We each must go through our own experiences to arrive where we are - not trying to sound like a useless cliche but that is true and it won’t help you if you bad or sorry that you didn’t get here sooner. That’s energy wasted that you can use for yourself, your lovely pets and your life now. I speak from years of experience of doing exactly that - kicking myself and being sorry I didn’t figure this or that out sooner. Then I realized that I had to go through what I did, experiences and learning about the whys and wherefores, to get to where I would understand and then make the decisions needed based on what I learned. (I hope that made sense. Thanks to a necessary brain surgery a decade ago sometimes I get stuck in an aphasia based loop when trying to explain something. If it didn’t, let me know & I can try again.) Wishing you well.
For a long time now, Mary, I have tried isolationism. At times, I simply ensure I am surrounded by like-minded folk. While I know this is not how the opposing factions will come together finally, I know beyond mere hunch that said opposing folks (idealistically), simply assume a position of aggro as soon as a voice like mine shows up to the discussion.
They speak so disgustedly of cancel culture . admittedly something we have brought on ourselves. Yet, I would ask: is it preferable to be politically canceled, or shot dead, as is the case for the bully's cancelling.
I am not discussing race. Specifically, I speak of this new era's definition of conservatism, and liberalism.
There simply is no middle ground surviving these days, and no hope of even discussing it.
I no longer have any friends who are Republicans. I was willing to give the people who voted for DJT the benefit of the doubt after 2016 but not after 2020. I don't believe they can be convinced of anything and I'm sorry to say I think it's a waste of time to try. We have eleven months until the most important election of our time and we need to use our resources in the most efficient and effective way possible--getting out the vote, registering voters, etc.
I don't mean to be cynical but rather realistic. There really is no middle ground and it's because the Republicans have become a party of fascist with whom it would be not only dangerous but immoral to negotiate.
It's OK to find solidarity with people who agree with you. That's what's going to keep us strong.
I am in full agreement with both of you. I find that I just have no tolerance anymore for those who are deeply down the rabbit hole now...who I gave the benefit of the doubt to in 2016 as you did, Mary, but who have had plenty of time to see what is really going on...But then again, maybe not. The only information they get tells them everyone else but Trump is lying, and they are now OK with facism running over Democracy - if they are even really paying attention. You can't have a conversation with them because they have a ready answer that is usually demeaning. It is disheartening that I no longer seek out those I know are staunch republicans, but I can't. There is no middle ground. You are both correct in that assessent. We must not allow our Democracy to be taken down by fascism. Now is not the time to retreat but to work with our fellow resisters to get people ready for voting in every state and demand Congress pass the Voting Rights Bills immediately. They made an exception in the Fillibuster for the Debt Ceiling last week, so could that be them letting the Republicans know they can and will do it for other things - being on the wrong side of Voting Rights is not going to be popluar.
Hi Dave. Seems we share the isolationism too. Kept to myself since Lyme was diagnosed in 2010 and as it turns out, M.S. too. I don't have the stamina to reason with folks who don't even understand what they're arguing about. And that's all they want to do. Argue! And where I live in the bible belt, near Ft. Bragg, I'm surrounded by Red.
But, I'm so grateful to live with my talented daughter and love watching and advising her creative endeavors. 🎨
Re: The Westerns. Sam Elliot is one of my all time favorites and I'll have to check Yellowstone out. Not much into new movies though as they are just too fast and I lost interest in Westerns after the Spaghettis made the violence so graphic.
I am happy to read your newsletter. I love seeing you on MSNBC.
I have felt depressed since Nov 9 , 2016. Then Covid happened. Both my parents passed too- not from Covid thankfully.
I fear so much the destruction of our democracy and the unaccountability so far of DJT.
The way I decompress is to read books, mostly fiction. I like to be in my house, with my cat on my lap and escape . At least for a while, I forget about all the bad things that are happening and all my responsibilities. I also like to take walks.
I'm right there with you, Helen. The date that marked before and after for me was 11/09/16. COVID made things exponentially worse but things were already quite bad.
Reading fiction has always been one of my greatest comforts and escapes but I've had a hard time with focus and concentration for the last couple of years. There is nothing quite as comforting as sitting in a comfortable chair with a cat (or parrot) nearby reading a novel.
I'm so sorry about your parents. No matter the cause, any loss during this time must be even harder to bear.
Reading has always been my solace as well, Helen. If I was into the lives of the characters I was reading about, I could then escape reality, however briefly. I also had two cats for companions; after 17 and 18 years of age they have passed on. I miss them every day.
I am still compelled to be "plugged in," and I do know it's likely not good for me. Anxiety, anger, dread... And yet I recall often hearing this throughout that awful administration: "It's a fine line between being informed and going insane." And while I have incredible like-minded friends, I also have many relatives that I simply can't have in my life at this time. They have no compunctions about behaving abusively (something they never were until Trump), and life is too short to subject myself to that. I guess I was naïve to expect that once Biden was in office, it would be clear(er) sailing, and how gobsmacking it has been to witness the exact opposite. I suspect it felt like this for families leading up to and during the Civil War. And on top of all of this, I'm feeling increasing irritation toward the Democrats for not doing enough, not taking the danger to our democracy seriously enough, and not supporting Biden's agenda enough. Now off to bury myself in another novel—which I guess actually is a form of unplugging.
I'm with you on feeling compelled to be plugged in...and I too know it is not good for me to feel the anxiety, depression, anger, and dread....but I also feel hopeful because we have a President who really cares about ALL of us even if Congressional Dems are struggling to bring his agenda to fruition. So much hope in the investigations that are clearly finding more and more collusion and corruption from the Top on Down in the Trump Administration, and that other investigations at the state level are also happening. I know people are frustrated with how long things are taking, but guarenteed the DOJ, which had to rebuilt itself, is quietly doing their job as they should without interference from the WH. When there is something to know, we will know it. Grateful for fabulous investigative reporting. It's a lot for sure... My escape is watching shows on You Tube TV and Netflix...I do read...but find my attention span isn't what it used to be. I am newly retired, and now caring for my son who was disabled and in chronic pain due to Osteosarcoma surgeries to remove vertebrea, and hip bone, cut a sacral nerve where part of the Sarcrum was removed - so many rods. Then a recurrence in his upper back and lungs. More surgery and chemo. His significant other of 14 years left him. They have two kids together. It broke him. He can't walk or drive. Uses crutches. He can't work because he can't sit or stand for long periods of time. His memory and concentration is impacted by the meds he takes and the chemo he had. Sometimes his body just gives out and he has to sleep for 24 - 48 hours at a time. It's a lot. So...self care...thankful for my sister...and friends...and now all of you! Having Community is important. Thanks for letting me vent.
I have a question off-topic: is there an actual video or you and JF, as I believe that's just a screenshot of your conversation.
Also, reading everyone's posts is a real pleasure; seeing the honesty and support is wonderful.
I was born in TX in 1950 but fortunately grew up in MI; however I lived in TX again 45 minutes north of Austin between 2000 & 2009. Couldn't wait to move back to IL, yet now find myself in NC! YIKES! Thank goodness for our Governor!
Ronda's got you covered! It's amazing how hard it is to live in certain places. I'm not sure what's going on with NC. What happened in Virginia concerns me. I hope it's not a trend.
I live in Virginia, Mary, and am a 13th generation Virginian. Also a descendant of large land and slave owners. IMO the ugly elephant in the room is White Supremacy that has been aroused by (1) Confederate Generals' statues being removed and more recently (2) the mania over CRT. Rural voters turned out in much larger numbers than usual. The "Blue" turnout was also larger than usual, but not in sufficient numbers to overtake the rural voters. Also, Youngkin didn't look or sound very "Trumpy" and some voters were misled by that. But wait until they see the policies that will be enacted! If they dare look, that is!
There's a link to the interview w/JF at the start of the paragraph above the screenshot - the "My conversation with Jane" is hyperlinked. Hope that helps!
Hello, I'm so aware of the ever growing barrage of "news" of all kinds. The feelings are an increasing sense of powerlessness and a desire to unplug. I used to like to check into various podcasts and blogs on both sides of the political spectrum, believing I might feel a bit more centered, connected.
I am reminded of a childhood battle with a new kid in the neighborhood. He liked to provoke those of us he perceived as weak into wrestling matches. He was a tough from the city and I knew I was no match for him. But somehow it came down to the two of us. After a few shoves and tugs I managed to get him into a headlock. Holding on tightly, I began to realize if I had let go I would have been in for a beating. He was getting mad. The match was no longer a friendly tussle, but real fight. I was somehow much stronger than I realized and I just held him. Both of us lying on the cold ground, a crowd of kids looking on.
When it became clear to all that I was not going to let go and he couldn't get free, everyone just wandered away. We both were losing the will to continue. However I never felt I had the upper hand. I couldn't let go! Then he stopped struggling and the grapple was over.
No winners or losers, just a feeling of sadness for both, although he never acknowledged either.
And in that unwillingness to give each other the respect deserved we're foreshadowings of the loss of compromise we see in these desperate "shoves and tugs" emerging in our socio-political world today.
One wonders what's to win in all this juvenile nastiness. It seems as if everyone is a puppet being jerked around in an absurd dance of chaos. I must say however, I am grateful to Mary Trump for taking up the mantle. It would be easy to give her a pass for having lived in with such madness just around the corner. To her credit, she is carrying to flag for those of us who have given up the grappling match.
Every day that The Golden Spur is free to further his agenda, we are one day closer to losing our democracy and I do unplug other than my local Raleigh news, PBS and I scan the google headlines . My escape and a sort of social science lesson is the old Westerns. They make clear how we got the way we are and I've labeled these angry white men... The Lost Cowboys!
A good example is Ronny Regan's 1955 flick, "Tennessee's Partner". 🤠
The Golden Spur? I've never heard that before. And I agree, we get one step closer to what should be unthinkable (but isn't) every day.
I was just talking to a friend of mine about the way cowboys have always been represented in movies--how it's just another way to perpetuate the American myth of white men as rugged individualists. Also at least 25% of American cowboys were black (and most of those formerly enslaved).
Sad to say, the fact that Reagan was in movies like that are a big reason he was elected. We've been heading down this road for a very long time.
I too find it interesting. Interesting in that they always seem hell bent on another Civil War and with it their old promise if "the South will Rise again!"
It's interesting and parabolic though, how few of them will be left alive to mount a fight, after a year and a half of denying Covid and the vaccines.
It's hypocritical, at best, to even want another Civil War when exactly zero of them seem to learn from history. I had a coworker (past tense, due to him ironically being termed), who argued with everyone one day re: KKK. He was early 20's and didn't believe they had ever existed.
I think the ultra conservative are the way they are because of lack of education. The system literally makes getting a higher education financially impractical for so many that they are simply left with no choice but to adopt their mom and dad's biased- riddled upbringings. No self awareness allowed. No critical thinking of their own. Hell, in most southern families it's not even allowed - frowned upon like homosexuality.
Anyway. This is why I don't fear the South rising military (despite Ron Desantis' best at creating his own civilian armada). Hard to gather numbers when they've all died of Covid.
My family once had a small ranch in California. Your friend is right. There were different groups of Mexican cowboys, Native American, black and a few local white cowboys. The Smithsonian says that 1 in 4 cowboys was black. When I'm not working on my doctorate in Boston I live in Tucson, Arizona where there is a black rodeo with a large group of black cowboys descended from black slaves.
Thank you for the like, Gwen. I think we have something in common - the westerns. Though, I find myself loving more and more the newer ones - Yellowstone, for example has me completely engrossed. Can't wait for the new off-shoot, 1883. They had me on that one at Sam Elliott. Hehe.
Keep up your chin, Gwen. We will make it through this. And "he whose name shall not be mentioned", will soon be nothing more than a dark memory.
How awesome that you got to have that experience with Jane Fonda! She's amazing! There is so much going on all of the time - it's hard to stay focused and easy to feel helpless. I watch/read way too much news every day, but it feels imperative at this point in time to stay informed. To decompress, I try to take long walks or run while listening to music or non-political podcasts (I highly recommend The Way Out Is In if engaged buddhism appeals to folks), as well as reading and spending time with my rescue dog, Millie. I've also been trying to find small ways to do things for others through different volunteer initiatives - for the most part activities unrelated to the headlines of the day, but that make a difference to people who are experiencing real struggles in their everyday lives. It feels empowering as a way to break the feeling of paralysis - there is always something positive that we can do. Looking forward to The Relay, and congrats on the podcast! I hope you hold Jane Fonda to that hug she offered you when you are able!
Thanks for all the insights and inspiration, Dr T! But despite all the positive vibes we may glean from this spiritual bubble, the forces of autocracy and authoritarianism and other disastrous -isms are advancing, encountering virtually zero impedance. Decades of dumbing-down and xenophobia-stoking is paying off for the Federalist Society crowd. They are consolidating their grip on the country and I see little to stop them. The Jan 6 committee will be easily kneecapped by slow court-dates for appeals and continuances. Gerrymandering and outright electoral fuckery will hand over Congress & the Senate in 2022, and 2024 will be the Devil's cakewalk. Yes, call me Dr Sunshine. Does the "la-la-la-la-la" view of the world help?
It does absolutely feel like the lead up to Doomsday - but I have to believe that the majority of Americans do not want our Democracy to be replaced by Fascism, which is what this Power and Profit over People and our Planet Party is peddling. The fact they are a minority group just openily taking over by peddling propaganda and lies is so Hitler like...happening so slowly like the frog who is slowly boiled in a pot of water as the heat gradually rises. Hitler slowly normalized the hate and the division between groups and the taking of freedoms and property and eventually the hate that fueled the murder of 6 million Jews and millions of other undesirables. I have to have faith that we will stand together. We will help Dems in every state to vote. We will demand that the Voting Rights Bills are passed. If the Dems can make an exception to the Fillibuster (NOT in the Constitution but a made up Republican/Jim Crow rule) to raise the Debt Ceiling, perhaps it's putting Republicans on notice that they do not want to be on the wrong side of history on this and the Voting Rights Bills will pass with or without them. Fingers crossed!
You -do- remember that Der Führer's popular support did not exceed about 35 percent when he took absolute control in 1933. And had goon squads threatening (or worse) anyone who resisted his authority for years before this. Now that the swing state legislatures can legally declare winners on top of egregious gerrymandering - 'standing together' just saves them ammunition. Keep the faith, but this ship hit the iceberg a long time ago.
I do remember, well used to teach it as I wasn't there, and exactly what you are saying is why I keep saying this is just like what happened in Nazi Germany...and so many didn't stand up or speak up in time before it impacted them...and then it was too late. I appreciate your reality check and your willingness to encourage my living in my hopeful bubble.
My parents were Jewish teenagers in adjacent countries - they knew and related the history DAMN WELL. On the plus side, I never had a lot of weddings or pesky cousins to deal with as I aged.
For me, the best chance for America is to DISRUPT corp media. Ideally the terms "news, journalism, reporting" and derivatives would be protected the same as other terms such as "psychologist, police, orthopedist, dentist". Ideally media would not be owned by a multinational that did anything other than media... And could not be owned/controlled indirectly through shares or shell companies. For a start News/Reporting of the universe of noise, lies, misdirection, disinfo would a minimum = analyze/describe PATTERNS of (obviously, mainly) GOP lies, stunts, antics. Regulations/oversight would guide media/social media to NOT be pass-through. To not show/amplify/incite, along lines of you can't yell fire in theatre. You can't yell disinfo under any sort of "news/reporting/journalism" medium. News medium/media conversely would routinely analyze and namecheck disinfo and propaganda. Regulations would be refined to rein in any corp essentially trying to subvert basic concept of news/reporting/journalism, the 4th estate, as critical for democracy, and lawsuits would follow. Something like the warning on cigarettes could play a role. A responsible media would handle MAGA antics through 1) analysis/describe patterns. Educate, give examples of how others in GOP, also from other countries, across history have abused the 4th estate. 2) would seek comments from others in and outside GOP on disinfo antics, incl 3) seek experts on related... but esp 4) include how corporations from FB to FOX to MSNBC have contributed to this over the past couple decades. For ex., "The Apprentice" = 15 yrs of FREE PRIMETIME propaganda. Myth building. Trump has the brilliant brash Wharton CEO that could lead this country. While clearly knowing full well of his and his fathers' racism, his hx of alleged sexual abuse, his bankruptcies. The Apprentice also pushed the sociopathic kids on America. Ideally there'd be a careful review of how this worked, and specifically and generally how cults work. How birther, Hillary-hate, then MAGA grew out of the The Apprentice. Anyway, I'm in the same field you are and just love you and your courage and dedication.
I lived in an apartment that was like camping, with tile, and I couldn't accomplish a single thing without 800 forms of ID and a DNA sample. But Italy's ancient churches - it's like God's attic. And did you know that Modena has a memorial to 9-11? The locals call it "The Egg Beaters" because it's two pieces of WTC steel suspended in steel spheres. I was there for the dedication - a little town like Modena mourned for our losses. We have friends in wonderful places.
Thank you for the good fight - and I'd love to hang out in Modena some day!
If you haven't already, Mary, consider subscribing to Robert B. Hubbell's Substack, "Today's Edition" (https://roberthubbell.substack.com). My husband and I read Heather Cox Richardson aloud first for what's news and how it relates historically, then read Mr. Hubbell's blog post (weekdays only). He has a knack for organizing the news with encouraging, positive, practical perspectives. This morning reading ritual has been a Godsend during these perilous times when we don't have the luxury of being "ignore-ant". (We follow this up with at least 30 minutes of mindfulness meditation for good measure.)
Welcome to Substack. Much applause to your ethics, energy and fortitude from both of us!
I spontaneously verbalized a very ungenerous thought today. We were talking about how hospitals are filling up with anti-vaccers. I blurted out “hospitals shouldn’t admit people who haven’t been vaccinated. They should be put out to die on the street.” Once it came out I was somewhat horrified and sort of apologized until one of my companions said “why not, that’s what we are all thinking!” I don’t think I truly feel that way, but I may be going in that direction and it sort of scares me.
During trump’s years in White House, I couldn’t get enough news. I watched 3-5 hours of cable news each day, read everything, because I didn’t want to miss the horror I was seeing and hearing. I thought when he lost, it’d be all over, but obviously it’s not. But I can’t take it anymore mentally or emotionally. Now I watch Rachel Maddow when I can, and limit my reading to an hour per day. I’m an artist and this has helped me focus on my work by not spending time being obsessed by the news all day. I still manage to stay I n top of things as there’s too much at stake with our democracy to shut things off completely.
Seriously? What kind of art do you do? I do abstracts in alcohol ink/mixed media. My Diva Ruby is 6 and the new guy Jack we estimate to be two. Black tricolors!
Alcohol ink. Interesting! I'd like to see that. I'm gywnphillips@gmail.com if you like to share.
Mostly illustration in mixed media. My hands don't allow much drawing or painting anymore so I do more repurposing and upcycling these days and advise/assist my very talented daughter whose online design business is growing... https://visualdestini.com/
And I plan to offer free healing arts workshops once our studio is completed on the property we just bought.
10 year old Mini Mae is actually my grandogter. She is a Welsh Corgi whose looking for a baby brother. We're thinking a black lab. He'll be Max.
My email is julie@themiddleofnowherestudio.com. I don’t have my website setup yet, it’s only been 5 years! I never thought I’d be a person
To own TWO corgis but this little guy—only 17 lbs—needed a home. I think he was bred as a mini corgi. Healing arts workshops—I might be up for one of those!
Walking my dog, up and down the hills for more than an hour daily in northern AZ. Good for the dog, good for me. Ultimately’The Force’ of good triumphs over evil. As John Lennon said, “Instant Karma’s gonna get you”., and Pandora’s Box will close.
It is difficult for me to disengage as much as I would like to as I am a co-administrator of a 412 member discussion group of current affairs from a liberal perspective. We have many news reports posted daily, and as we insist on reliable sources, we do check every one of them. But from time to time I have to take a Mental health break and am doing so now. My current reprieve is watching streaming operas from the Vienna Staatsoper. They are streaming older productions as all is Black now in Vienna due to the COVID shut down. They will be back open for business on the 12th, so that will end. I have also been planning a small Christmas gathering of my son and his family as well as his Godmother and husband. With every COVID protection firmly in place! It is often very difficult to not be depressed and despairing over the state of affairs on my country. I dream of moving to another country, but that is not in the cards due to our age and health issues. But researching real estate in countries I would move to help me from feeling too trapped!
Hi Mary and friends. I've been feeling lost since the pandemic began. I'm alone for the first time in my life. My parents and other family are gone. I've been wallowing around in that for months. Thinking I needed to focus on bigger happenings I too got stuck in "the fire hose of news." It was like quick sand especially with nowhere to go. The car went with my partner. I feel both guilty and relieved and guilty for that too. I made an effort to connect with best friends since childhood. That was my ticket away from the TV news which is so repetitive my brain was vomiting. I was crying all over my closest friend with the help of a word game we played online and knew I'd found the path I needed. Writing keeps me going.
What's going on in SEVERAL states, especially with regard to 'anti-voting' laws is mind-boggling: the 2021 version of Jim Crow! Frightening and aggravating!!!
Things feel completely unplugged. He was supposed to go away & won't. We are suffering from PTSD & need to recover but can't. We need to schedule time outs & treat them seriously. Communication is essential. Thank you for sharing your knowledge & support.
Hi Mary, First of all, thank you for being YOU! I feel like hugging you, too.
As a Zen Druid Feminist and lifelong Russia Specialist, Women’s Studies Pioneer, and descendant of founding fathers who left us women out of the constitution, I can’t really just unplug. Keeping up with the recent horror show in politics brought about by the Russians and your uncle was just an extension of my normal news interest, although by far the most unpleasant period in recent memory. I was born in 1940 so my first five years were WWII and then followed the polio epidemic. One of my PhD fields was Personality and Politics, so I have appreciated your work immensely. Would love to have a conversation with you someday. It may seem odd, but the best way for me to unplug is to watch grim English mysteries like Vera and Shetland. It’s certainly not a cheery landscape, but the characters are good, ‘real’ people and they sort things out. I think that’s the appeal. And it’s kind of quiet and meticulous, with no visual violence or car chases. My overactive mind loves to rest in a good story. I also enjoy Secrets of the Dead on PBS, especially the episode The Lost Tomb of Cleopatra which details how brilliant she was, Isis on earth. And another practice is sitting zazen at Upaya Zen Center led by Roshi Joan Halifax, a good friend of Jane Fonda. Finally, there is singing, about anything: murder, protests, women’s power and accomplishments, the environment ( check out Dave Carter and Tracy Grammer on youtube singing “Gentle Arms of Eden.” To me the most appalling phenomenon is incessant white male patriarchy, which I think is the root of both misogyny and racism. But, as we said in the 70s, Banish Patriarchy!
My mantra is Pasteurize Patriarchy! As in pasteurize ALL them good ole' white boys still stanking up Congress and the Senate. If they're older than me (65), they were grazing in the Trump Plaza brothel in old AC. Saw the gov. limos pull in myself, back when "the Hefner wannabe" was still a Democrat, which speaks volumes as to their complacency.
During a new feature release celebration, I shook Jane Don’t-Fck-with-me Fonda’s hand in San Diego where I obtained an autographed image of the beloved Fonda cast of “On Golden Pond”. Hey, ask her if she remembers 🤝
To answer your question, I create art to lose myself in. Since Uncs has been booted off Twitter my armor has cracked and I wake up looking forward to being in my studio whereas before, well, you know. I identify with EVERYONE commenting here. There are definitely days where I struggle with my art but I found if I don’t look at my phone until I’m well into my morning, I can start my “art days” with gusto and I’m easier to be around.
Thank you for the open thread. This has been great.
Hi, Mary. I've been enjoying your writing and just wanted to also recommend James Fallows's substack: https://fallows.substack.com/ He's been writing very astutely about American democracy and how to save it.
So relatable when speaking on self care . The isolation from my family and friends was hard but I still had to go to work during the height of the pandemic I took a great deal of verbal abuse from tenants who refused to follow guidelines my boss was empathetic and changed my work detail not only did it turn out to be a better income source my coworkers are now able to “tap out” when they call upon me to fill in . However I haven’t quite shed my skin some days I don’t wish to communicate at all I shut down . Knowing all this just tells me I need some down time , books music theater museums was my norm now I look at life with a bit more cynicism and sometimes guilt that I should be more present with my family and some are toxic ; instead of a night out . I can only live my life and deal with issues on my terms . I’m in awe of Jane Fonda she’s hit the ground running on issues I care about . I enjoy listening to you on podcasts during work Mary your body of work is very extensive and speaks truth Thank you.
Mary shares her father's surname; a man whom she clearly loved and respected very much. Finding gold in amongst all the silt (replace the middle two letters of that word if you so wish) is precious. Her father was a decent and honourable man in spite of being a Trump. Mary is everything her famous family members are not, and never could or will be. I personally love the fact that Mary is a beacon for good, hope and change and that she seemingly bears the name "Trump" with pride.
I don't think she'd readily go from being a private citizen with a story to a major player in shining a light on the ongoing domestic crime/terror wave if she were Dr Mary Jones. Brand names mean a LOT in FreedomLand™.
Thank you for creating this online community. I'm usually a loner, but things have gotten so crazy I can't tell if the crazy is in me or out there. Its reassuring to know I'm not the only one wondering what the eff is going on and raging on the inside. I'm Korean. I live 20 minutes right outside of DC. I USED to be a Republican (please don't unsubscribe me), but that changed the moment DJT won the Republican nomination for the presidency. What a horrifying joke (no offense). To answer your specific question, I do not plug in to the news anymore. I literally only read headlines so I have just enough information to sustain my survival. I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed. But I cannot bear to listen, watch, or read things that reflect zero critical thinking skills anymore. Do people not think anymore? Descartes said we exist only because we think. Sooo...I've concluded, just to make things a little funny and bearable in my head, that the Republican party, base, and right-wing media are all basically zombies. Brainless creatures that stumble around mumbling "Trump." Unfortunately, they can also vote. How do we stop them? I don't know. That's beyond my little brain. But I'm all in for whatever you and the smarter folks come up with. In the meantime, I'm going to enjoy walking in nature, swimming, playing music and skimming headlines. Be safe!
First of all, I wanted to say thank you, Mary L. Trump. You have been a truly bright spot in this truly shitty time. In answer to your question, I find the number of challenges we face--from creeping authoritarianism to climate change to racism (etc., etc.), the deluge of information and the barrage of organizations and candidates asking for my support--overwhelming. There's alot to be very frightened about. I'm trying to stay focused and choose ways to resist without doom-scrolling until 3 am every night. What helps is having family and friends with whom I share values; pets; preparing and eating healthy food (lots of veggies & whole foods), staying hydrated, getting a good night's sleep, getting outside, and exercising hard at least a few times a week.
Mary I'm so excited that you are creating this new community and for starting your blog. Also, my brother and I love your new podcast too.
The news has absolutely gotten worse because all they care about is clicks and revenue, not what is good for our democracy which is telling the truth about the dangers we face. It didn't use to be this way. I know this first-hand because I used to work for CNN from early 1996 to early 2001 and we had actual journalists running the newsroom. With today's news that Chris Wallace has quit FOX and is joining CNN+ this makes my decision to never watch that channel (except for your interview segments) a sound one.
I'm also so fucking angry at the negative coverage President Biden and Vice President Harris are receiving when almost none of it is warranted. It's like they want autocracy to happen in this country. They don't understand that in a dictatorship they will be among the first people arrested and imprisoned.
The things I do to cope are primarily watching fun TV shows and movies and hanging out with my mom, brother and a handful of friends. It's hard though because I know far more about what is happening in this country/world than most people so turning that off in my brain takes a lot of work.
One more thing, your interview with Jane Fonda was so amazing. In fact, all of your interviews are great.
please issue a call to convene a grand coalition to save democracy. all the disparate groups with different ideas about what to do need to come together online and go through an organized process to come to a consensus for peaceful action. We need a "Unite The Un-Right" event and movement.
I don’t really watch the news anymore and I catch most news through shows like Maddow and I listen to podcasts. I also move between interesting history, current affairs, philosophy and comedy podcasts to switch off my tendency to doom scroll. I am a leguminata which covers most of those bases anyway (the Daily Beans), and I inhale any of the Pod Save America shows and particularly Lovett or Leaveit, and comedy such as Bananas or Smartless. My guilty pleasure is My Favorite Murder. Otherwise I play with our dog, spend time with family or read.
If it weren’t for the unconditional love of my sweet cat, Alex….and his soft purring when I cuddle him after a long day of watching constant bad news, I would totally lose it. What is happening to our once honorable and respectable country and our congress??? I know there’s plenty of goodness in this world…..but I’m terrified for our coming future. Your f#%+*#ing uncle has released the Kraken, and I’m so needing this newsletter to read anything that heads in a better direction.
This is a great way to connect ! I follow E.J Carroll also and loved seeing you all together to support her in her case against DJT.
Do you think he will come to see Tish James in Jan ? My hubby says no. He is getting tired of the setting us up only to hear oh he has gone to the Supreme Court again or Something!
As far a staying connected yes lately it's been alot and I feel like locking up my phone for the day maybe ? I don't know. I have books to read too but so much is going on !
I’m spending the afternoon catching up on all these great newsletters. This one was great. Relay. Exactly what we are in. Engaging. Then resting/relaxing/recharging. Then back at it. And in my “downtime” I am trying to learn as much as I can, so my opinions are supported by facts. So grateful to be here.
The tuvalu 51 project is much taking, so I am almost completely unplugged and barely watch the lines. I once a week read a newspaper and that's enough to be informed. I don't think we should listen daily to the horror show. This doesn't make us better informed nor better at all. My two cents.
Spending so many many years struggling and in therapy as a result of an authoritarian traumatic childhood, I checked out, unplugged for a number of years, during 45s campaigns, shocking election, and years in the WH. I can so relate to your descriptions of family life.
I've been an activist, political enthusiast, LWV member, and 13 years as a voting clerk. Dropped it all, accept being an editor with LWV. Took me years to realize I was being triggered, big time, HUGE, to the point of 'checking out'! It was so shocking to realize such a huge portion of this county's citizens were so authoritarian, on such a huge scale; stuff I worked hard to deal with most of my life. And…, these people would vote for the likes of 'him', that a sociopath could be elected and actually move into the WH in this country!? And our Democracy was being undone bit by bit!
Learning self care as a survivor was an upward struggle. I'm slowly engaging again and this was a reminder to incorporate self care again as well. It's hard to keep up the political struggle during my elder years. So Jane Fonda is also an inspiration.
Thank you Mary L. Trump. I belong to 3 English speaking countries and I am living in a non English speaking country. I am tuning out of the news of the country I grew up in (not the US). The stories I can verify from there are things that I never would have imagined growing up.
Plus, I'm a curious fact checker type person. So I go behind the news and read original trusted sources such as transcripts of Senate committees. I also check how the politician got there. I know of a vocal Senator who was never even elected. Just put there by her party to replace someone else. I'm afraid of reprisals just for mentioning that I know this because I looked it up. Its happened before and I'm genuinely afraid of that country. So checking out of reading the news there or listening to podcasts from there is a good idea. My heart is racing just writing that.
But I have two other English speaking countries, the US being one of them. News just because I enjoy some and podcasts that aren't news. Its familiar to hear English. I have a pool and I feel better if I paddle about in that.
Most of all I have to accept that the past is genuinely gone and I have to build a different present where I am. No matter what. I have a friend of 40 years back home and they could cut my messaging with him so I need to accept that he could disappear any day. I can't visit because my vaccination, they don't approve of and there are no planes.
But I keep doing what I do each day. "One wonders what's to win in all this juvenile nastiness. It seems as if everyone is a puppet being jerked around in an absurd dance of chaos." as moatsw said.
But I'm grateful for the small things. I"m watching shows like The Rockford Files or UK shows from the past as escapism and that helps too.
Relay, what a great idea. I need this! The isolation of the pandemic is crushing, still going on in my little town, the reddest county in a blue state. I am worried for us, the grass roots movements of people far out of touch with reality is horrifying. Even the school board meetings here have disintegrated into making sure no one teaches Critical Race Theory when they don't even know what it is. The ignorance is so disheartening. I am so grateful to you Mary, and to the community you are building. This gives me hope! Right now I have a couple of coping mechanisms - my pets of course, and writing. I have a lovely mental health pro named Dr. Ben who really seems to enjoy my letters. I have always danced with my old friend depression, and the past five years have made it really worse. My sister is a psychic who says that DJT was supposed to die of Covid, but his will power defeated the Universe. That scares the daylights out of me. You know he's getting help, he is not smart enough to engineer this ugly movement. My greatest fear is that the next autocrat they install will be smart. Then we will become a dictatorship. I don't see any way out of that but violence.
I am really concerned that the Democratic leaders don't see the danger. We must end the filibuster and pass federal voting rights, federal abortion protection, and federal climate action. The media is bashing President Biden at every turn because the corporations don't want to pay any taxes. Frightening.
My next venture is letters to the editors. I don't have much hope that the GOP magas around here read the newspaper, but this will help me cope. Thanks for everything Mary, your words are like fresh air to me.
Yes! It is a relay! One rests and passes that baton to another. Perfect metaphor. Mary check out The Atelier sm site created by Elizabeth Cronise McLaughlin. It's a sm site free of trolls. No algorithms to subvert the discussion. Your voice is so needed in the discussion. Stay well!
As encouraged as I am regarding the ever increasing investigative news about the the Jan. 6th insurrection, I feel like I never will really heal and find peace from it all until every single person or party responsible (and that definitely includes 'Uncle Donnie') are held legally and morally accountable.
May truth, righteous, and justice prevail. Otherwise there can never be peace. "No Justice... No Peace!"
A relay is a good metaphor. I could use a supportive group. I had to turn off the news for a while, but I'm back on again now, as thing move forward with the January 6th Commission. The timeline for the Planned Coup is unimaginable, but true. I was a Republican for a long time, born into a WWII veteran's home, regular middle class (on ONE income with 6 children..my mom stayed home...that was a more sane economy). I am glad to live in a blue state, but there are racist misogynists everywhere, including my neighbor, who complains about "illegals" bringing down our property values and swears by Judge Winebox Jeannie, and the people who won't vaccinate. It is so weird. Just so weird. Seemingly intelligent, well educated people. I truly believe that the Russian Mob has taken over, with its disinformation and projection reporting. Rupert Murdoch has to be entwined with them. The projection about "saving the children" is real and part of the Russian Mob's disinformation tactics. I want to know more about Jeffrey Epstein and how entwined he was with the Russian mob, as far as sex trafficking and selling humans. Who else is involved at the high levels of our government? Who else is par fo this money laundering, criminal web? The Senate - McConnell, Tuberville, Rand Paul, who else? SCOTUS - Ginny and Clarence - The House of Representatives - Jordan, Boebert, Mo Brooks ...a whole list ..and then the US State Attorney Generals..and the state houses...It has gotten worse as Zuckerberg and Murdoch have gotten on the Russian mob gravy train. I practice self -care by walking my dogs, cooking, being in nature...But I have to be clear eyed about who is really pulling the strings here. There are some Senators who know (Whitehouse) and are willing to say something about it. Liz Cheney knows it all and that is why she is doing what she is doing. She knows the Russian mob is pulling Trumps puppet strings. That is why they were so opposed to HRC. She stood up to them. What to do? Vote, march, email, call ! And badass Newsome is beating them at their own game. Yeah, ok, let's peel away the shield gun manufacturers and the polluters have from lawsuits.
Mary, I hope you don’t find this too intrusive however, your uncle has been accused of a sexual assault on a woman E. Jean, which he naturally denies (it’s what he Always does).
She claims to have DNA evidence and of course he will never provide that.
My question is, as a relative, would you be prepared to provide a DNA sample to the authorities to prove his guilt or innocence?
I understand this may be difficult for you and I will respect your decision.
Thanks Mary for your honesty, wisdom and goodness. Love the new podcast as well as the substack. Good luck getting adopted by the incredible Jane Fonda. Hoping to hear updates on that 😂🤣
I’m so upset over children being shot at school, at children living with the fear of being shot at school. This should have stopped with Sandy Hook (Sandy Hook should never have happened), but radical conservatives just keep pushing for more and more violence. I shouldn’t say this out loud, but I wish something would take these people out (Covid?) so we could stop this and protect our children. I have no pity for these conservative radicals. I won’t even be in the same room with one of them. It’s unforgivable. We’re making our children go to school with the fear of being shot. That’s insane. I’m thinking about getting involved with gun control once I get my financial life up and running again. I lost my business due to Covid and am building a new one. My mom has cancer, and I need to be around for her right now. A positive turn in my life has been the loss of my old business. It involved being away from home a lot and away from my animals, which are my
life. There was just no speed bump to help me slow down long enough to start another business. When Covid hit, however, I went from 60-hour work weeks to zero. The supplemental unemployment helped me get my start with a new home-based business, which is where I need to be now. It’s still in the making and funds are low, but I’m hopeful and pushing forward no matter what. My new business has a design component to it, and the involvement with art and design has proven nourishing to my soul. I’m a big advocate of people getting involved in some form of art. The art process is the best self-care. Thank you for starting this, Mary. You are such a genuine person, and I so appreciate that.
I'm in deep gratitude to you and for you. You are creating an astounding community and the power you have and share with us is potentially changeful and futuring. You have such access and potential to move the conversation forward; blessings upon you for taking action. You represent such deep hope. As an aging lesbian, I see you as an agent of both community and truth. It doesn't get much better. Again, thank you!
This is amazing! I'm calling it a night but I will pick up where I left off tomorrow. I hope everybody has a wonderful night.
Hi Mary.
Thank you again for linking to my own Substack in the very first edition of yours - that was such a lovely thing, and I'm enduringly grateful...
Regarding unplugging: yeah, this is so, so important. The firehose is real and painful and deadening...
But maybe it can be about rewiring, rather than just yanking the thing out the wall and silencing all the voices including the good ones. Maybe our frazzled, scorched attention spans can be refocused, so we're learning to be as fully engaged with the world and with our communities while taking an active role in filtering what comes our way. Maybe it's possibly to be in the thick of it and remain hopeful, enthusiastic and strong, so we're showing up to fight the battles we believe in with our very best versions of ourselves...
I don't write about politics. And I'm British, so the politics that directly affect me are a bit dustier, smelling a bit more of mothballs and bad aftershave, a bit more prone to having a cup of tea and a biscuit and a nap in the middle of the afternoon, and a little more deluded by faded imperial "glory".
But what I've been doing to cope with the shocking stuff in British politics over the last half-decade, and indeed everywhere, and all the issues that have become political for the most baffling reasons...is to take increasingly deep dives into what I don't yet know I don't know. The science of it, in particular. The human skills of attention, curiosity, wonder and awe that can make us feel more alive when they're working at full capacity. And I've been looking for ways to entice and prod my readers into testing their own limits in all of these things - mainly because it creates hope. Anhedonia, a common aspect of depression, is deeply tied up with hopelessness. Curiosity goes the other direction. And it's not about tuning out - it's about tuning *in*. It's about seeing how amazing so much of our world is, and how much joy we can feel by leaning into it in new ways...
So I think, if I can find a way to write about it in just the right way (it's early days), I can use this topic to instil hope - and help a few change makers here and there to find the energy to show up and do their thing.
That's *my* hope, anyway. :)
First of all, everybody needs to subscribe to your Substack newsletter, "Everything Is Amazing." We need to be reminded now, more than ever, how much there is in the universe to be in awe of.
I agree that the situation in the UK, as opposed to the States, is different--mostly of degree but also, given the history also of kind (though the parallels between the two countries in terms of political choices and "leadership" styles over the last five years have been uncanny and worrisome).
I share your consternation that issues that should be apolitical--climate change, marriage equality, the environment, women's bodily autonomy (the list goes on)--have changed the ways in which people perceive the role of government in a way that is detrimental.
It's a great observation that curiosity is the antithesis of--and perhaps antidote to?--anhedonia and, I'd add, learned helplessness. Focusing on knowledge and learning and the joys those things can bring is the way to go. Hard, of course, when so many of us are feeling paralyzed, demoralized, and helpless but it's absolutely what we should be leaning into.
Keep up the amazing work. You are a phenomenal writer.
Oh gosh.
Um.
You do know that British people can't take a compliment and when they try they go *completely* to pieces?
Thank you. Those are ridiculously kind words. When I eventually find a way to get up off the floor, I will cherish them.
(And hard yes to your consternation about the politicising of so much that's basic to society and the human condition and should be a source of unity and action, not division and inaction and pointless wrangling. That continues to alarm the hell out of me.)
Thank you again, Mary. Blimey.
My apologies--I forgot you were British. 😂
Excellent ideas on how to cope and continue to be involved. I’ve printed your post out so that I can ponder what you’ve said. Thanks.
I’m 70 years old and a lifelong liberal/progressive Democrat. So is most of my family and friends. We’re all vacced and boostered, except for a 3 year old granddaughter. I flew to Washington in January, 2017, and took part in the Women March, along with 400,000 others. Okay. Now I’m so scared about what’s going on with the Republicans on every level and what they’re doing to subvert democracy. And what are our Democratic leaders doing? Not much, as far as I can see…
I marched 50 years ago for Civil Rights, against the Vietnam War, and, of course, for women’s right for abortion. Am I going to be in the streets again? Damn straight, but where are the organizers? I’d love to see some leaders in MY party acknowledge the pressing problems and get out there and lead. I’d like to see Democratic candidates run campaigns that are tough and mean. Yes, “mean”. I’m not the only one to be fearful and searching. Any suggestions?
I am 78 yrs old and a native San Francsican, and I was marching somewhere out there w/you back then. That is another hard truth, we keep fighting the same fights over and over again. I once read the definition fo insanity was doing the same thing over and over again while epecting a different result.
Welcome to “insanity”, Marilyn. We seem to regard - wrongly, evidently. - that the right to choose was “settled law”. The Texas insanity means we’re taking to the streets, yer again. I hope I see you!
It is such a very hard time. I am obsessing about the Jan 6 commission, alternating between celebrating their progress and bemoaning the slow pace. The midterms will be upon us so soon, and I fear Republican takeover of the House will kill the work. I am also deeply disturbed by the proliferation of guns, shootings, and a lack of any will to pass gun legislation. Voting rights are imperiled in many states, especially mine (Texas), and redistricting is a nightmare.
On a brighter note, I love being part of your this community, and I love your books and podcasts. Keep up the good work!!
Thank you, Debbie! I also vacillate between hope and despair when it comes to the January 6 Committee. I don't understand why there isn't a way to fast-track investigations into serious wrong-doing by our own government officials--it's infuriating). I'm much less hopeful about Garland and the DoJ but I haven't given up yet. We shall see. It is all a lot, isn't it? But I'm glad you're here.
Listening to news of how the Far Right is destroying our democracy, and being a blue flower in a red ant-hill state can be depressing for sure. Painting and knitting, as well as listening to excellent podcasts such as yours help keep my head above water. Thanks Mary.
I had a version of this living on Long Island but, honestly, even there political differences didn't really matter until 5 years ago--plus I was a quick train ride away from the City whenever I needed diversity and sanity. I honestly don't know how Blue dots in Red seas manage but painting and knitting sound like amazing and productive escapes. Hang in there. We're going to make it through. And thank you for the kind words about my podcast.
After 75 years of being an introvert, the pandemic isn't as painful for me as some others. However, having lost family and friends to COVID on top of being surrounded by republicans ( I refuse to capitalize them) and losing some I thought were friends has been gut wrenching. Knitting is as effective as meditation according to the experts,and painting takes me to a good place. My best to you in your efforts.
As a tiny blue dot in a hateful, Q-heavy red town in a crimson red state (IN) I turn to gardening, feeding the birds & squirrels, enjoying my cats company & affection, reading about many subjects to keep learning, trimming my news consumption down to only trusted news sites & blogs such as this one, walking outdoors away from people every day that I am able (military disabilities) and watching specific science fiction shows/movies that can serve both as a temporary escape and that give me moments of hope when thinking of the future. I have found that the communities I have joined here, with Steady, Letters From an American and a few others have been incredibly helpful in maintaining a positive outlook and a sense of belonging during our years-long pandemic.
Mary, I’m so delighted you’ve become a part of today’s conversations. How you survived that toxic family is beyond me but thank the goddess you did!!
Hi, Jeanne. Thanks but the whole point of this was to join the conversation. I'm just sorry it took so long. But there's a lot going on. Everybody's comments have buoyed me!
Don’t be sorry Mary. It took however long it took. We each must go through our own experiences to arrive where we are - not trying to sound like a useless cliche but that is true and it won’t help you if you bad or sorry that you didn’t get here sooner. That’s energy wasted that you can use for yourself, your lovely pets and your life now. I speak from years of experience of doing exactly that - kicking myself and being sorry I didn’t figure this or that out sooner. Then I realized that I had to go through what I did, experiences and learning about the whys and wherefores, to get to where I would understand and then make the decisions needed based on what I learned. (I hope that made sense. Thanks to a necessary brain surgery a decade ago sometimes I get stuck in an aphasia based loop when trying to explain something. If it didn’t, let me know & I can try again.) Wishing you well.
For a long time now, Mary, I have tried isolationism. At times, I simply ensure I am surrounded by like-minded folk. While I know this is not how the opposing factions will come together finally, I know beyond mere hunch that said opposing folks (idealistically), simply assume a position of aggro as soon as a voice like mine shows up to the discussion.
They speak so disgustedly of cancel culture . admittedly something we have brought on ourselves. Yet, I would ask: is it preferable to be politically canceled, or shot dead, as is the case for the bully's cancelling.
I am not discussing race. Specifically, I speak of this new era's definition of conservatism, and liberalism.
There simply is no middle ground surviving these days, and no hope of even discussing it.
I no longer have any friends who are Republicans. I was willing to give the people who voted for DJT the benefit of the doubt after 2016 but not after 2020. I don't believe they can be convinced of anything and I'm sorry to say I think it's a waste of time to try. We have eleven months until the most important election of our time and we need to use our resources in the most efficient and effective way possible--getting out the vote, registering voters, etc.
I don't mean to be cynical but rather realistic. There really is no middle ground and it's because the Republicans have become a party of fascist with whom it would be not only dangerous but immoral to negotiate.
It's OK to find solidarity with people who agree with you. That's what's going to keep us strong.
I am in full agreement with both of you. I find that I just have no tolerance anymore for those who are deeply down the rabbit hole now...who I gave the benefit of the doubt to in 2016 as you did, Mary, but who have had plenty of time to see what is really going on...But then again, maybe not. The only information they get tells them everyone else but Trump is lying, and they are now OK with facism running over Democracy - if they are even really paying attention. You can't have a conversation with them because they have a ready answer that is usually demeaning. It is disheartening that I no longer seek out those I know are staunch republicans, but I can't. There is no middle ground. You are both correct in that assessent. We must not allow our Democracy to be taken down by fascism. Now is not the time to retreat but to work with our fellow resisters to get people ready for voting in every state and demand Congress pass the Voting Rights Bills immediately. They made an exception in the Fillibuster for the Debt Ceiling last week, so could that be them letting the Republicans know they can and will do it for other things - being on the wrong side of Voting Rights is not going to be popluar.
Thank you for the kind, and informative words of encouragement Kimberly
Thank you Mary. Thank you for validating. It's good to know I'm not alone.
Hi Dave. Seems we share the isolationism too. Kept to myself since Lyme was diagnosed in 2010 and as it turns out, M.S. too. I don't have the stamina to reason with folks who don't even understand what they're arguing about. And that's all they want to do. Argue! And where I live in the bible belt, near Ft. Bragg, I'm surrounded by Red.
But, I'm so grateful to live with my talented daughter and love watching and advising her creative endeavors. 🎨
Re: The Westerns. Sam Elliot is one of my all time favorites and I'll have to check Yellowstone out. Not much into new movies though as they are just too fast and I lost interest in Westerns after the Spaghettis made the violence so graphic.
You are one of the beacons in our world today. Not only because or you-know-who, but because of you powerful and courageous honesty. Thank you!
That's incredibly kind of you.
Hi Mary,
I am happy to read your newsletter. I love seeing you on MSNBC.
I have felt depressed since Nov 9 , 2016. Then Covid happened. Both my parents passed too- not from Covid thankfully.
I fear so much the destruction of our democracy and the unaccountability so far of DJT.
The way I decompress is to read books, mostly fiction. I like to be in my house, with my cat on my lap and escape . At least for a while, I forget about all the bad things that are happening and all my responsibilities. I also like to take walks.
Thanks Mary- have a good weekend.
I'm right there with you, Helen. The date that marked before and after for me was 11/09/16. COVID made things exponentially worse but things were already quite bad.
Reading fiction has always been one of my greatest comforts and escapes but I've had a hard time with focus and concentration for the last couple of years. There is nothing quite as comforting as sitting in a comfortable chair with a cat (or parrot) nearby reading a novel.
I'm so sorry about your parents. No matter the cause, any loss during this time must be even harder to bear.
Thank you Mary💙
Reading has always been my solace as well, Helen. If I was into the lives of the characters I was reading about, I could then escape reality, however briefly. I also had two cats for companions; after 17 and 18 years of age they have passed on. I miss them every day.
I am still compelled to be "plugged in," and I do know it's likely not good for me. Anxiety, anger, dread... And yet I recall often hearing this throughout that awful administration: "It's a fine line between being informed and going insane." And while I have incredible like-minded friends, I also have many relatives that I simply can't have in my life at this time. They have no compunctions about behaving abusively (something they never were until Trump), and life is too short to subject myself to that. I guess I was naïve to expect that once Biden was in office, it would be clear(er) sailing, and how gobsmacking it has been to witness the exact opposite. I suspect it felt like this for families leading up to and during the Civil War. And on top of all of this, I'm feeling increasing irritation toward the Democrats for not doing enough, not taking the danger to our democracy seriously enough, and not supporting Biden's agenda enough. Now off to bury myself in another novel—which I guess actually is a form of unplugging.
I'm with you on feeling compelled to be plugged in...and I too know it is not good for me to feel the anxiety, depression, anger, and dread....but I also feel hopeful because we have a President who really cares about ALL of us even if Congressional Dems are struggling to bring his agenda to fruition. So much hope in the investigations that are clearly finding more and more collusion and corruption from the Top on Down in the Trump Administration, and that other investigations at the state level are also happening. I know people are frustrated with how long things are taking, but guarenteed the DOJ, which had to rebuilt itself, is quietly doing their job as they should without interference from the WH. When there is something to know, we will know it. Grateful for fabulous investigative reporting. It's a lot for sure... My escape is watching shows on You Tube TV and Netflix...I do read...but find my attention span isn't what it used to be. I am newly retired, and now caring for my son who was disabled and in chronic pain due to Osteosarcoma surgeries to remove vertebrea, and hip bone, cut a sacral nerve where part of the Sarcrum was removed - so many rods. Then a recurrence in his upper back and lungs. More surgery and chemo. His significant other of 14 years left him. They have two kids together. It broke him. He can't walk or drive. Uses crutches. He can't work because he can't sit or stand for long periods of time. His memory and concentration is impacted by the meds he takes and the chemo he had. Sometimes his body just gives out and he has to sleep for 24 - 48 hours at a time. It's a lot. So...self care...thankful for my sister...and friends...and now all of you! Having Community is important. Thanks for letting me vent.
Huggs to you, Kimberly! You are a rock!
Aww, thanks Gywn.
I have a question off-topic: is there an actual video or you and JF, as I believe that's just a screenshot of your conversation.
Also, reading everyone's posts is a real pleasure; seeing the honesty and support is wonderful.
I was born in TX in 1950 but fortunately grew up in MI; however I lived in TX again 45 minutes north of Austin between 2000 & 2009. Couldn't wait to move back to IL, yet now find myself in NC! YIKES! Thank goodness for our Governor!
Ronda's got you covered! It's amazing how hard it is to live in certain places. I'm not sure what's going on with NC. What happened in Virginia concerns me. I hope it's not a trend.
I live in Virginia, Mary, and am a 13th generation Virginian. Also a descendant of large land and slave owners. IMO the ugly elephant in the room is White Supremacy that has been aroused by (1) Confederate Generals' statues being removed and more recently (2) the mania over CRT. Rural voters turned out in much larger numbers than usual. The "Blue" turnout was also larger than usual, but not in sufficient numbers to overtake the rural voters. Also, Youngkin didn't look or sound very "Trumpy" and some voters were misled by that. But wait until they see the policies that will be enacted! If they dare look, that is!
There's a link to the interview w/JF at the start of the paragraph above the screenshot - the "My conversation with Jane" is hyperlinked. Hope that helps!
Thanks, Ronda!
Oh, DUH! Thanks!
Love our Governor Cooper!
Hello, I'm so aware of the ever growing barrage of "news" of all kinds. The feelings are an increasing sense of powerlessness and a desire to unplug. I used to like to check into various podcasts and blogs on both sides of the political spectrum, believing I might feel a bit more centered, connected.
I am reminded of a childhood battle with a new kid in the neighborhood. He liked to provoke those of us he perceived as weak into wrestling matches. He was a tough from the city and I knew I was no match for him. But somehow it came down to the two of us. After a few shoves and tugs I managed to get him into a headlock. Holding on tightly, I began to realize if I had let go I would have been in for a beating. He was getting mad. The match was no longer a friendly tussle, but real fight. I was somehow much stronger than I realized and I just held him. Both of us lying on the cold ground, a crowd of kids looking on.
When it became clear to all that I was not going to let go and he couldn't get free, everyone just wandered away. We both were losing the will to continue. However I never felt I had the upper hand. I couldn't let go! Then he stopped struggling and the grapple was over.
No winners or losers, just a feeling of sadness for both, although he never acknowledged either.
And in that unwillingness to give each other the respect deserved we're foreshadowings of the loss of compromise we see in these desperate "shoves and tugs" emerging in our socio-political world today.
One wonders what's to win in all this juvenile nastiness. It seems as if everyone is a puppet being jerked around in an absurd dance of chaos. I must say however, I am grateful to Mary Trump for taking up the mantle. It would be easy to give her a pass for having lived in with such madness just around the corner. To her credit, she is carrying to flag for those of us who have given up the grappling match.
Bill Moats, Greenbelt MAryland
Thanks, Bill. And that is a perfect analogy. And an apt sentiment: "No winners or losers, just a feeling of sadness for both."
“Juvenile nastiness”. Perfectly said Bill. It is time for Americans to grow up. I am also very grateful to Mary for being here for all of us.
Every day that The Golden Spur is free to further his agenda, we are one day closer to losing our democracy and I do unplug other than my local Raleigh news, PBS and I scan the google headlines . My escape and a sort of social science lesson is the old Westerns. They make clear how we got the way we are and I've labeled these angry white men... The Lost Cowboys!
A good example is Ronny Regan's 1955 flick, "Tennessee's Partner". 🤠
The Golden Spur? I've never heard that before. And I agree, we get one step closer to what should be unthinkable (but isn't) every day.
I was just talking to a friend of mine about the way cowboys have always been represented in movies--how it's just another way to perpetuate the American myth of white men as rugged individualists. Also at least 25% of American cowboys were black (and most of those formerly enslaved).
Sad to say, the fact that Reagan was in movies like that are a big reason he was elected. We've been heading down this road for a very long time.
I too find it interesting. Interesting in that they always seem hell bent on another Civil War and with it their old promise if "the South will Rise again!"
It's interesting and parabolic though, how few of them will be left alive to mount a fight, after a year and a half of denying Covid and the vaccines.
It's hypocritical, at best, to even want another Civil War when exactly zero of them seem to learn from history. I had a coworker (past tense, due to him ironically being termed), who argued with everyone one day re: KKK. He was early 20's and didn't believe they had ever existed.
I think the ultra conservative are the way they are because of lack of education. The system literally makes getting a higher education financially impractical for so many that they are simply left with no choice but to adopt their mom and dad's biased- riddled upbringings. No self awareness allowed. No critical thinking of their own. Hell, in most southern families it's not even allowed - frowned upon like homosexuality.
Anyway. This is why I don't fear the South rising military (despite Ron Desantis' best at creating his own civilian armada). Hard to gather numbers when they've all died of Covid.
My family once had a small ranch in California. Your friend is right. There were different groups of Mexican cowboys, Native American, black and a few local white cowboys. The Smithsonian says that 1 in 4 cowboys was black. When I'm not working on my doctorate in Boston I live in Tucson, Arizona where there is a black rodeo with a large group of black cowboys descended from black slaves.
Thank you for the like, Gwen. I think we have something in common - the westerns. Though, I find myself loving more and more the newer ones - Yellowstone, for example has me completely engrossed. Can't wait for the new off-shoot, 1883. They had me on that one at Sam Elliott. Hehe.
Keep up your chin, Gwen. We will make it through this. And "he whose name shall not be mentioned", will soon be nothing more than a dark memory.
/Hugs
How awesome that you got to have that experience with Jane Fonda! She's amazing! There is so much going on all of the time - it's hard to stay focused and easy to feel helpless. I watch/read way too much news every day, but it feels imperative at this point in time to stay informed. To decompress, I try to take long walks or run while listening to music or non-political podcasts (I highly recommend The Way Out Is In if engaged buddhism appeals to folks), as well as reading and spending time with my rescue dog, Millie. I've also been trying to find small ways to do things for others through different volunteer initiatives - for the most part activities unrelated to the headlines of the day, but that make a difference to people who are experiencing real struggles in their everyday lives. It feels empowering as a way to break the feeling of paralysis - there is always something positive that we can do. Looking forward to The Relay, and congrats on the podcast! I hope you hold Jane Fonda to that hug she offered you when you are able!
Thanks for all the insights and inspiration, Dr T! But despite all the positive vibes we may glean from this spiritual bubble, the forces of autocracy and authoritarianism and other disastrous -isms are advancing, encountering virtually zero impedance. Decades of dumbing-down and xenophobia-stoking is paying off for the Federalist Society crowd. They are consolidating their grip on the country and I see little to stop them. The Jan 6 committee will be easily kneecapped by slow court-dates for appeals and continuances. Gerrymandering and outright electoral fuckery will hand over Congress & the Senate in 2022, and 2024 will be the Devil's cakewalk. Yes, call me Dr Sunshine. Does the "la-la-la-la-la" view of the world help?
It does absolutely feel like the lead up to Doomsday - but I have to believe that the majority of Americans do not want our Democracy to be replaced by Fascism, which is what this Power and Profit over People and our Planet Party is peddling. The fact they are a minority group just openily taking over by peddling propaganda and lies is so Hitler like...happening so slowly like the frog who is slowly boiled in a pot of water as the heat gradually rises. Hitler slowly normalized the hate and the division between groups and the taking of freedoms and property and eventually the hate that fueled the murder of 6 million Jews and millions of other undesirables. I have to have faith that we will stand together. We will help Dems in every state to vote. We will demand that the Voting Rights Bills are passed. If the Dems can make an exception to the Fillibuster (NOT in the Constitution but a made up Republican/Jim Crow rule) to raise the Debt Ceiling, perhaps it's putting Republicans on notice that they do not want to be on the wrong side of history on this and the Voting Rights Bills will pass with or without them. Fingers crossed!
You -do- remember that Der Führer's popular support did not exceed about 35 percent when he took absolute control in 1933. And had goon squads threatening (or worse) anyone who resisted his authority for years before this. Now that the swing state legislatures can legally declare winners on top of egregious gerrymandering - 'standing together' just saves them ammunition. Keep the faith, but this ship hit the iceberg a long time ago.
I do remember, well used to teach it as I wasn't there, and exactly what you are saying is why I keep saying this is just like what happened in Nazi Germany...and so many didn't stand up or speak up in time before it impacted them...and then it was too late. I appreciate your reality check and your willingness to encourage my living in my hopeful bubble.
My parents were Jewish teenagers in adjacent countries - they knew and related the history DAMN WELL. On the plus side, I never had a lot of weddings or pesky cousins to deal with as I aged.
I can't even imagine how horrific it must have been to have lived it.😞
For me, the best chance for America is to DISRUPT corp media. Ideally the terms "news, journalism, reporting" and derivatives would be protected the same as other terms such as "psychologist, police, orthopedist, dentist". Ideally media would not be owned by a multinational that did anything other than media... And could not be owned/controlled indirectly through shares or shell companies. For a start News/Reporting of the universe of noise, lies, misdirection, disinfo would a minimum = analyze/describe PATTERNS of (obviously, mainly) GOP lies, stunts, antics. Regulations/oversight would guide media/social media to NOT be pass-through. To not show/amplify/incite, along lines of you can't yell fire in theatre. You can't yell disinfo under any sort of "news/reporting/journalism" medium. News medium/media conversely would routinely analyze and namecheck disinfo and propaganda. Regulations would be refined to rein in any corp essentially trying to subvert basic concept of news/reporting/journalism, the 4th estate, as critical for democracy, and lawsuits would follow. Something like the warning on cigarettes could play a role. A responsible media would handle MAGA antics through 1) analysis/describe patterns. Educate, give examples of how others in GOP, also from other countries, across history have abused the 4th estate. 2) would seek comments from others in and outside GOP on disinfo antics, incl 3) seek experts on related... but esp 4) include how corporations from FB to FOX to MSNBC have contributed to this over the past couple decades. For ex., "The Apprentice" = 15 yrs of FREE PRIMETIME propaganda. Myth building. Trump has the brilliant brash Wharton CEO that could lead this country. While clearly knowing full well of his and his fathers' racism, his hx of alleged sexual abuse, his bankruptcies. The Apprentice also pushed the sociopathic kids on America. Ideally there'd be a careful review of how this worked, and specifically and generally how cults work. How birther, Hillary-hate, then MAGA grew out of the The Apprentice. Anyway, I'm in the same field you are and just love you and your courage and dedication.
Here's what I do to cope - I need funny. I need gorgeous Italians and being confused in another language and stepping away so I can come back stronger. If you want to laugh, try this: https://www.amazon.com/My-Modena-Laughter-Exhilaration-Italy/dp/1737359103/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=
This looks great. Thanks! I love Modena (all of Italy, really--Firenze is my second favorite city on the planet after NY).
I lived in an apartment that was like camping, with tile, and I couldn't accomplish a single thing without 800 forms of ID and a DNA sample. But Italy's ancient churches - it's like God's attic. And did you know that Modena has a memorial to 9-11? The locals call it "The Egg Beaters" because it's two pieces of WTC steel suspended in steel spheres. I was there for the dedication - a little town like Modena mourned for our losses. We have friends in wonderful places.
Thank you for the good fight - and I'd love to hang out in Modena some day!
I lived there for a year - if your wretched relative wins again I'm moving there for good.
If you haven't already, Mary, consider subscribing to Robert B. Hubbell's Substack, "Today's Edition" (https://roberthubbell.substack.com). My husband and I read Heather Cox Richardson aloud first for what's news and how it relates historically, then read Mr. Hubbell's blog post (weekdays only). He has a knack for organizing the news with encouraging, positive, practical perspectives. This morning reading ritual has been a Godsend during these perilous times when we don't have the luxury of being "ignore-ant". (We follow this up with at least 30 minutes of mindfulness meditation for good measure.)
Welcome to Substack. Much applause to your ethics, energy and fortitude from both of us!
Beat me to it! Heather and Hubbell are my first stop every morning!
I spontaneously verbalized a very ungenerous thought today. We were talking about how hospitals are filling up with anti-vaccers. I blurted out “hospitals shouldn’t admit people who haven’t been vaccinated. They should be put out to die on the street.” Once it came out I was somewhat horrified and sort of apologized until one of my companions said “why not, that’s what we are all thinking!” I don’t think I truly feel that way, but I may be going in that direction and it sort of scares me.
During trump’s years in White House, I couldn’t get enough news. I watched 3-5 hours of cable news each day, read everything, because I didn’t want to miss the horror I was seeing and hearing. I thought when he lost, it’d be all over, but obviously it’s not. But I can’t take it anymore mentally or emotionally. Now I watch Rachel Maddow when I can, and limit my reading to an hour per day. I’m an artist and this has helped me focus on my work by not spending time being obsessed by the news all day. I still manage to stay I n top of things as there’s too much at stake with our democracy to shut things off completely.
Artist w/Corgi here! 🎨
Oh… I know about an Arts desert!
Seriously? What kind of art do you do? I do abstracts in alcohol ink/mixed media. My Diva Ruby is 6 and the new guy Jack we estimate to be two. Black tricolors!
Alcohol ink. Interesting! I'd like to see that. I'm gywnphillips@gmail.com if you like to share.
Mostly illustration in mixed media. My hands don't allow much drawing or painting anymore so I do more repurposing and upcycling these days and advise/assist my very talented daughter whose online design business is growing... https://visualdestini.com/
And I plan to offer free healing arts workshops once our studio is completed on the property we just bought.
10 year old Mini Mae is actually my grandogter. She is a Welsh Corgi whose looking for a baby brother. We're thinking a black lab. He'll be Max.
My email is julie@themiddleofnowherestudio.com. I don’t have my website setup yet, it’s only been 5 years! I never thought I’d be a person
To own TWO corgis but this little guy—only 17 lbs—needed a home. I think he was bred as a mini corgi. Healing arts workshops—I might be up for one of those!
Walking my dog, up and down the hills for more than an hour daily in northern AZ. Good for the dog, good for me. Ultimately’The Force’ of good triumphs over evil. As John Lennon said, “Instant Karma’s gonna get you”., and Pandora’s Box will close.
It is difficult for me to disengage as much as I would like to as I am a co-administrator of a 412 member discussion group of current affairs from a liberal perspective. We have many news reports posted daily, and as we insist on reliable sources, we do check every one of them. But from time to time I have to take a Mental health break and am doing so now. My current reprieve is watching streaming operas from the Vienna Staatsoper. They are streaming older productions as all is Black now in Vienna due to the COVID shut down. They will be back open for business on the 12th, so that will end. I have also been planning a small Christmas gathering of my son and his family as well as his Godmother and husband. With every COVID protection firmly in place! It is often very difficult to not be depressed and despairing over the state of affairs on my country. I dream of moving to another country, but that is not in the cards due to our age and health issues. But researching real estate in countries I would move to help me from feeling too trapped!
I bought a nice apartment in one such (unnamed) European country last summer. I'm old and in so-so health, but what am I waiting for? No excuses!
I am firmly in your corner, E. Jean, as is everyone I know of both sexes!
Hi Mary and friends. I've been feeling lost since the pandemic began. I'm alone for the first time in my life. My parents and other family are gone. I've been wallowing around in that for months. Thinking I needed to focus on bigger happenings I too got stuck in "the fire hose of news." It was like quick sand especially with nowhere to go. The car went with my partner. I feel both guilty and relieved and guilty for that too. I made an effort to connect with best friends since childhood. That was my ticket away from the TV news which is so repetitive my brain was vomiting. I was crying all over my closest friend with the help of a word game we played online and knew I'd found the path I needed. Writing keeps me going.
What's going on in SEVERAL states, especially with regard to 'anti-voting' laws is mind-boggling: the 2021 version of Jim Crow! Frightening and aggravating!!!
Things feel completely unplugged. He was supposed to go away & won't. We are suffering from PTSD & need to recover but can't. We need to schedule time outs & treat them seriously. Communication is essential. Thank you for sharing your knowledge & support.
Hi Mary, First of all, thank you for being YOU! I feel like hugging you, too.
As a Zen Druid Feminist and lifelong Russia Specialist, Women’s Studies Pioneer, and descendant of founding fathers who left us women out of the constitution, I can’t really just unplug. Keeping up with the recent horror show in politics brought about by the Russians and your uncle was just an extension of my normal news interest, although by far the most unpleasant period in recent memory. I was born in 1940 so my first five years were WWII and then followed the polio epidemic. One of my PhD fields was Personality and Politics, so I have appreciated your work immensely. Would love to have a conversation with you someday. It may seem odd, but the best way for me to unplug is to watch grim English mysteries like Vera and Shetland. It’s certainly not a cheery landscape, but the characters are good, ‘real’ people and they sort things out. I think that’s the appeal. And it’s kind of quiet and meticulous, with no visual violence or car chases. My overactive mind loves to rest in a good story. I also enjoy Secrets of the Dead on PBS, especially the episode The Lost Tomb of Cleopatra which details how brilliant she was, Isis on earth. And another practice is sitting zazen at Upaya Zen Center led by Roshi Joan Halifax, a good friend of Jane Fonda. Finally, there is singing, about anything: murder, protests, women’s power and accomplishments, the environment ( check out Dave Carter and Tracy Grammer on youtube singing “Gentle Arms of Eden.” To me the most appalling phenomenon is incessant white male patriarchy, which I think is the root of both misogyny and racism. But, as we said in the 70s, Banish Patriarchy!
How very interesting! I’ve recently discovered Roshi Joan Halifax and enjoy her works. I’m reading Standing at the Edge now and love it.
My mantra is Pasteurize Patriarchy! As in pasteurize ALL them good ole' white boys still stanking up Congress and the Senate. If they're older than me (65), they were grazing in the Trump Plaza brothel in old AC. Saw the gov. limos pull in myself, back when "the Hefner wannabe" was still a Democrat, which speaks volumes as to their complacency.
During a new feature release celebration, I shook Jane Don’t-Fck-with-me Fonda’s hand in San Diego where I obtained an autographed image of the beloved Fonda cast of “On Golden Pond”. Hey, ask her if she remembers 🤝
To answer your question, I create art to lose myself in. Since Uncs has been booted off Twitter my armor has cracked and I wake up looking forward to being in my studio whereas before, well, you know. I identify with EVERYONE commenting here. There are definitely days where I struggle with my art but I found if I don’t look at my phone until I’m well into my morning, I can start my “art days” with gusto and I’m easier to be around.
Thank you for the open thread. This has been great.
Hi, Mary. I've been enjoying your writing and just wanted to also recommend James Fallows's substack: https://fallows.substack.com/ He's been writing very astutely about American democracy and how to save it.
So relatable when speaking on self care . The isolation from my family and friends was hard but I still had to go to work during the height of the pandemic I took a great deal of verbal abuse from tenants who refused to follow guidelines my boss was empathetic and changed my work detail not only did it turn out to be a better income source my coworkers are now able to “tap out” when they call upon me to fill in . However I haven’t quite shed my skin some days I don’t wish to communicate at all I shut down . Knowing all this just tells me I need some down time , books music theater museums was my norm now I look at life with a bit more cynicism and sometimes guilt that I should be more present with my family and some are toxic ; instead of a night out . I can only live my life and deal with issues on my terms . I’m in awe of Jane Fonda she’s hit the ground running on issues I care about . I enjoy listening to you on podcasts during work Mary your body of work is very extensive and speaks truth Thank you.
Mary, did you ever consider changing your last name before you became a well-known public figure?
Mary shares her father's surname; a man whom she clearly loved and respected very much. Finding gold in amongst all the silt (replace the middle two letters of that word if you so wish) is precious. Her father was a decent and honourable man in spite of being a Trump. Mary is everything her famous family members are not, and never could or will be. I personally love the fact that Mary is a beacon for good, hope and change and that she seemingly bears the name "Trump" with pride.
Thank you, Sophia. You are very kind.
Thanks Mary
I don't think she'd readily go from being a private citizen with a story to a major player in shining a light on the ongoing domestic crime/terror wave if she were Dr Mary Jones. Brand names mean a LOT in FreedomLand™.
Love the profile description! Bah-bull thumpers.... HAHAHAHAHAH!
Hi Mary,
Thank you for creating this online community. I'm usually a loner, but things have gotten so crazy I can't tell if the crazy is in me or out there. Its reassuring to know I'm not the only one wondering what the eff is going on and raging on the inside. I'm Korean. I live 20 minutes right outside of DC. I USED to be a Republican (please don't unsubscribe me), but that changed the moment DJT won the Republican nomination for the presidency. What a horrifying joke (no offense). To answer your specific question, I do not plug in to the news anymore. I literally only read headlines so I have just enough information to sustain my survival. I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed. But I cannot bear to listen, watch, or read things that reflect zero critical thinking skills anymore. Do people not think anymore? Descartes said we exist only because we think. Sooo...I've concluded, just to make things a little funny and bearable in my head, that the Republican party, base, and right-wing media are all basically zombies. Brainless creatures that stumble around mumbling "Trump." Unfortunately, they can also vote. How do we stop them? I don't know. That's beyond my little brain. But I'm all in for whatever you and the smarter folks come up with. In the meantime, I'm going to enjoy walking in nature, swimming, playing music and skimming headlines. Be safe!
First of all, I wanted to say thank you, Mary L. Trump. You have been a truly bright spot in this truly shitty time. In answer to your question, I find the number of challenges we face--from creeping authoritarianism to climate change to racism (etc., etc.), the deluge of information and the barrage of organizations and candidates asking for my support--overwhelming. There's alot to be very frightened about. I'm trying to stay focused and choose ways to resist without doom-scrolling until 3 am every night. What helps is having family and friends with whom I share values; pets; preparing and eating healthy food (lots of veggies & whole foods), staying hydrated, getting a good night's sleep, getting outside, and exercising hard at least a few times a week.
Mary I'm so excited that you are creating this new community and for starting your blog. Also, my brother and I love your new podcast too.
The news has absolutely gotten worse because all they care about is clicks and revenue, not what is good for our democracy which is telling the truth about the dangers we face. It didn't use to be this way. I know this first-hand because I used to work for CNN from early 1996 to early 2001 and we had actual journalists running the newsroom. With today's news that Chris Wallace has quit FOX and is joining CNN+ this makes my decision to never watch that channel (except for your interview segments) a sound one.
I'm also so fucking angry at the negative coverage President Biden and Vice President Harris are receiving when almost none of it is warranted. It's like they want autocracy to happen in this country. They don't understand that in a dictatorship they will be among the first people arrested and imprisoned.
The things I do to cope are primarily watching fun TV shows and movies and hanging out with my mom, brother and a handful of friends. It's hard though because I know far more about what is happening in this country/world than most people so turning that off in my brain takes a lot of work.
One more thing, your interview with Jane Fonda was so amazing. In fact, all of your interviews are great.
please issue a call to convene a grand coalition to save democracy. all the disparate groups with different ideas about what to do need to come together online and go through an organized process to come to a consensus for peaceful action. We need a "Unite The Un-Right" event and movement.
I had to stop watching the news. Too depressing, infuriating, saddening. Someone else will have to carry the baton for now. I fear for my country.
I don’t really watch the news anymore and I catch most news through shows like Maddow and I listen to podcasts. I also move between interesting history, current affairs, philosophy and comedy podcasts to switch off my tendency to doom scroll. I am a leguminata which covers most of those bases anyway (the Daily Beans), and I inhale any of the Pod Save America shows and particularly Lovett or Leaveit, and comedy such as Bananas or Smartless. My guilty pleasure is My Favorite Murder. Otherwise I play with our dog, spend time with family or read.
If it weren’t for the unconditional love of my sweet cat, Alex….and his soft purring when I cuddle him after a long day of watching constant bad news, I would totally lose it. What is happening to our once honorable and respectable country and our congress??? I know there’s plenty of goodness in this world…..but I’m terrified for our coming future. Your f#%+*#ing uncle has released the Kraken, and I’m so needing this newsletter to read anything that heads in a better direction.
This is a great way to connect ! I follow E.J Carroll also and loved seeing you all together to support her in her case against DJT.
Do you think he will come to see Tish James in Jan ? My hubby says no. He is getting tired of the setting us up only to hear oh he has gone to the Supreme Court again or Something!
As far a staying connected yes lately it's been alot and I feel like locking up my phone for the day maybe ? I don't know. I have books to read too but so much is going on !
I’m spending the afternoon catching up on all these great newsletters. This one was great. Relay. Exactly what we are in. Engaging. Then resting/relaxing/recharging. Then back at it. And in my “downtime” I am trying to learn as much as I can, so my opinions are supported by facts. So grateful to be here.
The tuvalu 51 project is much taking, so I am almost completely unplugged and barely watch the lines. I once a week read a newspaper and that's enough to be informed. I don't think we should listen daily to the horror show. This doesn't make us better informed nor better at all. My two cents.
Spending so many many years struggling and in therapy as a result of an authoritarian traumatic childhood, I checked out, unplugged for a number of years, during 45s campaigns, shocking election, and years in the WH. I can so relate to your descriptions of family life.
I've been an activist, political enthusiast, LWV member, and 13 years as a voting clerk. Dropped it all, accept being an editor with LWV. Took me years to realize I was being triggered, big time, HUGE, to the point of 'checking out'! It was so shocking to realize such a huge portion of this county's citizens were so authoritarian, on such a huge scale; stuff I worked hard to deal with most of my life. And…, these people would vote for the likes of 'him', that a sociopath could be elected and actually move into the WH in this country!? And our Democracy was being undone bit by bit!
Learning self care as a survivor was an upward struggle. I'm slowly engaging again and this was a reminder to incorporate self care again as well. It's hard to keep up the political struggle during my elder years. So Jane Fonda is also an inspiration.
Thank you Mary L. Trump. I belong to 3 English speaking countries and I am living in a non English speaking country. I am tuning out of the news of the country I grew up in (not the US). The stories I can verify from there are things that I never would have imagined growing up.
Plus, I'm a curious fact checker type person. So I go behind the news and read original trusted sources such as transcripts of Senate committees. I also check how the politician got there. I know of a vocal Senator who was never even elected. Just put there by her party to replace someone else. I'm afraid of reprisals just for mentioning that I know this because I looked it up. Its happened before and I'm genuinely afraid of that country. So checking out of reading the news there or listening to podcasts from there is a good idea. My heart is racing just writing that.
But I have two other English speaking countries, the US being one of them. News just because I enjoy some and podcasts that aren't news. Its familiar to hear English. I have a pool and I feel better if I paddle about in that.
Most of all I have to accept that the past is genuinely gone and I have to build a different present where I am. No matter what. I have a friend of 40 years back home and they could cut my messaging with him so I need to accept that he could disappear any day. I can't visit because my vaccination, they don't approve of and there are no planes.
But I keep doing what I do each day. "One wonders what's to win in all this juvenile nastiness. It seems as if everyone is a puppet being jerked around in an absurd dance of chaos." as moatsw said.
But I'm grateful for the small things. I"m watching shows like The Rockford Files or UK shows from the past as escapism and that helps too.
Relay, what a great idea. I need this! The isolation of the pandemic is crushing, still going on in my little town, the reddest county in a blue state. I am worried for us, the grass roots movements of people far out of touch with reality is horrifying. Even the school board meetings here have disintegrated into making sure no one teaches Critical Race Theory when they don't even know what it is. The ignorance is so disheartening. I am so grateful to you Mary, and to the community you are building. This gives me hope! Right now I have a couple of coping mechanisms - my pets of course, and writing. I have a lovely mental health pro named Dr. Ben who really seems to enjoy my letters. I have always danced with my old friend depression, and the past five years have made it really worse. My sister is a psychic who says that DJT was supposed to die of Covid, but his will power defeated the Universe. That scares the daylights out of me. You know he's getting help, he is not smart enough to engineer this ugly movement. My greatest fear is that the next autocrat they install will be smart. Then we will become a dictatorship. I don't see any way out of that but violence.
I am really concerned that the Democratic leaders don't see the danger. We must end the filibuster and pass federal voting rights, federal abortion protection, and federal climate action. The media is bashing President Biden at every turn because the corporations don't want to pay any taxes. Frightening.
My next venture is letters to the editors. I don't have much hope that the GOP magas around here read the newspaper, but this will help me cope. Thanks for everything Mary, your words are like fresh air to me.
Yes! It is a relay! One rests and passes that baton to another. Perfect metaphor. Mary check out The Atelier sm site created by Elizabeth Cronise McLaughlin. It's a sm site free of trolls. No algorithms to subvert the discussion. Your voice is so needed in the discussion. Stay well!
Love Jane Fonda... and love YOU!
As encouraged as I am regarding the ever increasing investigative news about the the Jan. 6th insurrection, I feel like I never will really heal and find peace from it all until every single person or party responsible (and that definitely includes 'Uncle Donnie') are held legally and morally accountable.
May truth, righteous, and justice prevail. Otherwise there can never be peace. "No Justice... No Peace!"
A relay is a good metaphor. I could use a supportive group. I had to turn off the news for a while, but I'm back on again now, as thing move forward with the January 6th Commission. The timeline for the Planned Coup is unimaginable, but true. I was a Republican for a long time, born into a WWII veteran's home, regular middle class (on ONE income with 6 children..my mom stayed home...that was a more sane economy). I am glad to live in a blue state, but there are racist misogynists everywhere, including my neighbor, who complains about "illegals" bringing down our property values and swears by Judge Winebox Jeannie, and the people who won't vaccinate. It is so weird. Just so weird. Seemingly intelligent, well educated people. I truly believe that the Russian Mob has taken over, with its disinformation and projection reporting. Rupert Murdoch has to be entwined with them. The projection about "saving the children" is real and part of the Russian Mob's disinformation tactics. I want to know more about Jeffrey Epstein and how entwined he was with the Russian mob, as far as sex trafficking and selling humans. Who else is involved at the high levels of our government? Who else is par fo this money laundering, criminal web? The Senate - McConnell, Tuberville, Rand Paul, who else? SCOTUS - Ginny and Clarence - The House of Representatives - Jordan, Boebert, Mo Brooks ...a whole list ..and then the US State Attorney Generals..and the state houses...It has gotten worse as Zuckerberg and Murdoch have gotten on the Russian mob gravy train. I practice self -care by walking my dogs, cooking, being in nature...But I have to be clear eyed about who is really pulling the strings here. There are some Senators who know (Whitehouse) and are willing to say something about it. Liz Cheney knows it all and that is why she is doing what she is doing. She knows the Russian mob is pulling Trumps puppet strings. That is why they were so opposed to HRC. She stood up to them. What to do? Vote, march, email, call ! And badass Newsome is beating them at their own game. Yeah, ok, let's peel away the shield gun manufacturers and the polluters have from lawsuits.
Mary, I hope you don’t find this too intrusive however, your uncle has been accused of a sexual assault on a woman E. Jean, which he naturally denies (it’s what he Always does).
She claims to have DNA evidence and of course he will never provide that.
My question is, as a relative, would you be prepared to provide a DNA sample to the authorities to prove his guilt or innocence?
I understand this may be difficult for you and I will respect your decision.
Thanks Mary for your honesty, wisdom and goodness. Love the new podcast as well as the substack. Good luck getting adopted by the incredible Jane Fonda. Hoping to hear updates on that 😂🤣
I’m so upset over children being shot at school, at children living with the fear of being shot at school. This should have stopped with Sandy Hook (Sandy Hook should never have happened), but radical conservatives just keep pushing for more and more violence. I shouldn’t say this out loud, but I wish something would take these people out (Covid?) so we could stop this and protect our children. I have no pity for these conservative radicals. I won’t even be in the same room with one of them. It’s unforgivable. We’re making our children go to school with the fear of being shot. That’s insane. I’m thinking about getting involved with gun control once I get my financial life up and running again. I lost my business due to Covid and am building a new one. My mom has cancer, and I need to be around for her right now. A positive turn in my life has been the loss of my old business. It involved being away from home a lot and away from my animals, which are my
life. There was just no speed bump to help me slow down long enough to start another business. When Covid hit, however, I went from 60-hour work weeks to zero. The supplemental unemployment helped me get my start with a new home-based business, which is where I need to be now. It’s still in the making and funds are low, but I’m hopeful and pushing forward no matter what. My new business has a design component to it, and the involvement with art and design has proven nourishing to my soul. I’m a big advocate of people getting involved in some form of art. The art process is the best self-care. Thank you for starting this, Mary. You are such a genuine person, and I so appreciate that.
I'm in deep gratitude to you and for you. You are creating an astounding community and the power you have and share with us is potentially changeful and futuring. You have such access and potential to move the conversation forward; blessings upon you for taking action. You represent such deep hope. As an aging lesbian, I see you as an agent of both community and truth. It doesn't get much better. Again, thank you!